A Mama's Musings And Meditations

Bellybuttons

2010-05-09T12:58:00.003-04:00

Dear Annie, Lucy, Jack & Wyatt,

Today is Mother's Day...and although it is a day to celebrate mothers everywhere I cannot escape the fact that without the 4 of you I wouldn't be a mama. So today I also celebrate you, my most precious gifts.

There is no role in the world I cherish more than being your mama. It is the fulfillment of so many dreams and longings I have had over the course of my life and I count it all joy to experience life with you day in and day out.

You have each expanded my heart, deepened my understanding of love, and tested my strength more than I ever thought possible. I have had to grow in compassion, mercy and patience since becoming a mama - and sometimes I have not grown fast enough. Being a mama is a study in on the job training and sometimes we have all had to learn from my mistakes, for that I can only say I'm sorry and reassure you that everything I have done has been born out of my unending love for you.

There are days when I don't know if I can take one more little voice calling "MAMA" or one more little body climbing in bed with me or one more stain on the sofa or one more mess to clean up. There are times when I think the drama of "you like him/her better" or "she pushed me" or "he stole my cookie" will be the end of me. That I will just disappear in a cloud of dust while you stand around wondering what the heck happened.

But on those days and during those times I try to remind myself of the earliest moments in each of your lives. Those moments when it was just you and me, in a hospital room, spending our first alone time together. When I whispered my dreams for you in your tiny ears and when I gave voice to the deepest love I have ever known. In those moments I was changed - changed in ways that words cannot begin to describe. Changed in ways that would enable me to move heaven and earth to get to you. Changed in ways that will link my heart to yours forever - through life and death.

When you were all tiny babies I loved to kiss your toes and cheeks and hands and necks. But my favorite part of your gorgeous little bodies was your bellybutton - because that is where you were connected to me. It is a tangible reminder of how you grew in my body AND in my heart and it will be a part of you forever.

So on this day of celebrating Mamas, I celebrate you - my four amazing children. I revel in your unabashed love for me and I appreciate the wonderfully unique people you are becoming right in from of my eyes. Thank you for making me a mama and for making life so much more fun than I ever thought it could be!

I love you,

Mama

SNONAMI

2010-02-11T11:16:00.003-05:00

I love snow. I mean I really love it. A lot. So when the big one was forecast yet again for points east of Pittsburgh I was jealous. I cursed the snow gods and did a snow dance all in hopes of conjuring up some significant accumulation here in the City of Champions.

Wow am I one amazingly powerful woman or what? What was predicted to be 8+ inches became 23 overnight and then another 10 on top of that a few days later. Lots of terms have been coined for the snowfall: snowpocalypse, snowmageddon, snOMG but my favorite is one is saw on a friend's facebook page: SNONAMI! The snow has become the conversation...on the radio, the news, the internet. My kids have been home from school all week. (which is another show of my power - after Aunt Nancy died during Christmas Break I wished in my heart for a re-do of that time off with my kids!) We are getting a bit of cabin fever but mostly we are trying to enjoy the time together. Here are some photos.

Hello Again

2010-02-11T10:55:00.002-05:00

It is hard for me to believe that it has been over 2 months since my last post. I really wanted to blog more consistently but lots has happened and I needed a break. There was the usual - holidays and all the "busyness" that comes with them no matter how hard you try to calm it down. In addition to Christmas and New Year's both my parents have late December birthdays so there is a lot of celebrating!

But the real story is that my Aunt Nancy died. On December 28, 2009. Only 5 weeks after she was diagnosed with Acute ~~Myelg~~ Somebigmedicalword Leukemia. 5 weeks. 35 days. Unbelievable. In early November she had a cold that hung on and then became pneumonia. December 28 she was dead. On my 40th birthday (Nov 28) she sang me Happy Birthday from her hospital bed - what a gift. I will never ever forget it.

To say that our entire extended family was devastated would be an understatement. Aunt Nancy was my mom's younger sister - and the mom of Taos and Summer and the wife of Uncle Dean. When things happen in what would seem to us to be out of order it is hard. Really hard. Aunt Nancy was 62, seemingly healthy, and FULL of life.

~~I loved Aunt Nancy~~ I LOVE Aunt Nancy. I don't think my mind has fully grasped that she is gone. My heart definitely hasn't.

40 Favorite Things

2009-12-02T08:48:00.002-05:00

In honor of my 40th birthday here is a list of 40 of my favorite things (in no particular order).

1. ice cold diet coke from a can
2. the warm breeze of spring after a cold winter
3. the sleepy snuggles with a toddler after a nap
4. the heart swelling pride when my children accomplish something
5. holding hands
6. feeling the safety of love
7. fried cheese sticks with marinara
8. gin and tonics on Friday nights at the pool
9. hearing little voices having serious conversations
10. friends who are real and forever
11. mad mex
12. Pittsburgh
13. the quiet that comes with a big snowfall
14. days off of school
15. the look on a child's face when they see something amazing for the first time
16. deep long laughter
17. having both sons and daughters
18. football
19. dancing
20. my kids' school
21. my wedding day
22. knitting
23. the feeling of warm sand under my feet
24. playing the kevin bacon game on car trips
25. being involved in things that make the world a better place
26. writing
27. recycling
28. new pajamas on Christmas Eve
29. the smell of sunscreen
30. my wonderful amazing miraculous children
31. soft kisses
32. down comforters
33. fires in the fireplace
34. boardgames
35. living in the city
36. alex
37. falling asleep
38. the sound of the ocean
39. polka dots
40. me, myself and I

40

2009-12-02T08:35:00.004-05:00

I turned 40 last week...it's been a strange time. Truth be told I've always thought 40 sounded really old, like REALLY old. And I don't feel old at all - not one tiny bit. I am having a hard time reconciling the way I feel and the me I see in the bathroom mirror every morning with that number...40. It seems impossible.

People who are 40 are supposed to know more than I do about life, aren't they? It seems to me that by the time you have lived on this giant ball we call Earth for 14,600+ days you should know a little more than I do. I find myself changing more now that I did in my 20's. Back then I was so sure about everything - my views were as hard as stone and I was immoveable from my staunchly held positions. Now I'm sure of almost nothing and my views have changed in ways I wouldn't have predicted in a million years. 40 is surprising that way.

People who are 40 are supposed to have some sort of plan for the future right? Some thoughts of what to do when the kids are all in school and grown. Some inclination of what they want to be when they grow up or where they want to retire when the time comes. Well I have a different thought almost each and every day on those topics - and, well I have no clear picture of any of it. 40 is confusing that way.

And people who are 40, well aren't they supposed to have it together? Aren't they supposed to be firmly planted with roots growing deep? If so then why do I have all of these wild thoughts about pulling up my roots and going somewhere to do something radical with my family and our lives? What would that mean and how would it end up? 40 is life-changing that way.

A Blog Redux

2009-12-02T08:30:00.002-05:00

It's been almost 9 months since I have blogged. I didn't intend to take a long break but I think it has been a good thing for me. I have had time to ruminate on lots of things I want to say and refine the voice with which I want to say them. So welcome back to my blog, I hope you'll settle in and stay awhile.

Fair Warning

2009-03-18T12:48:00.002-04:00

Please read this blog!

Pray for this young girl's family as they mourn her loss. And PLEASE, parents of young women...do NOT get this vaccine until it is researched further.

The Meaning of Love

2009-02-17T07:47:00.004-05:00

As most of you know, Annie is in the third grade at the Environmental Charter School at Frick Park. All of the education there is infused with teaching the students to care for , respect and preserve our environment. It is located in regent square and Frick Park is their outdoor classroom. Right now it is only grades K-3 and it will add a grade each year until it is K-8. All of the classes go outdoors many times throughout the week for Environmental Science. They walk through the park and observe it's ecosystem and how the living and non-living things interact.

One day in December Annie's class was out on a hike and they came upon a homeless man laying on the ground. Anyone who knows Annie knows she is quite a sensitive little girl who loves people. When Alex was working in Oakland we would often meet him for lunch or dinner. If we ran into homeless people we would give them our leftovers or gift certificates for food...so Annie was familiar with the issue of homelessness and sensitive to it. But out on a hike with 20 third graders - it isn't smart to approach a stranger so the teacher wisely moved the class along. Annie came home that day absolutely broken hearted. She was just despairing over this man and that she hadn't been able to talk to him or help in some way. She just kept saying "mommy he must be so cold".

I started telling her about homeless shelters and the good work people in Pittsburgh are doing with the homeless. I told her to think and pray about what she could do to help. A few weeks later she came up with the idea of holding a blanket drive at her school to benefit the homeless. So with the full blessing of the principal at school Annie got up in front of the whole school and explained her idea. Since it was in February she called it the Have A Heart Blanket Drive. In just 10 days her classmates donated close to 50 blankets! On Valentine's day our family went down to Family Links' homeless shelter for youth in the lower Hill District and gave them the blankets.

It was amazing and Annie is already talking about expanding the drive next year to involve more schools. She is hoping to be able to donate more than 200 blankets next year. I'm attaching some pictures of Annie donating the blankets. Isn't she just amazing!

Gettin' In The Mood

2009-01-29T16:25:00.000-05:00

Sledding!

2009-01-20T08:54:00.002-05:00

The Dream Lives On

2009-01-19T09:39:00.003-05:00

Two years ago, Alex made this video to show at youth group. It is powerful and moving. I hope you'll take the time to watch it. How great that Inauguration Day is tomorrow - the day after we remember Dr. King and his legacy.

Super Steelers

2009-01-18T23:34:00.002-05:00

Here we go!

Let's Get This Party Started!

2008-11-06T08:10:00.002-05:00

A moment that will live forever in history took place this election day. Barack Obama became the first black man ever elected President of the USA. I am hopeful for our country for the first time in a long long time. I believe that he will unite people and that he will look out for people who have no one looking out for them right now. I think the war in Iraq will be over very soon and I think a wave of hope and compassion has begun to sweep over our nation.

I know this election was very polarizing - especially among Christians. I know many people I consider dear friends cannot understand how I could embrace Obama because of some of his policy positions. I know I have a hard time understanding the same about those who supported McCain. But my hope and prayer is that we can all come together and give Obama a chance to lead...and see where it goes. I think it's the least we can do.

Yeah, whatever!

2008-11-06T08:07:00.002-05:00

So another sick child has disturbed my plans to blog. Wyatt was sick all last weekend and Monday he was officially diagnosed with an ear infection in his right ear! Plus Alex and I spent some time at the National Youth Worker's Convention downtown so my time was limited.

So now you'll just have to guess at my top three reasons to vote for Obama!

The Best Laid Plans

2008-10-31T23:50:00.002-04:00

My Top Ten List got knocked off track on Wednesday by a sick 6 year old. Little Lucy has been fighting something for a long time...she has been on one round of antibiotics but hasn't rebounded well. She started to go downhill fast on Wednesday and she ended up back in the docs office today. She is on a stronger medicine now and hopefully it will knock this thing out. She did rally enough to make it to a festival at our church tonight so Halloween wasn't a total bummer.

Approximately 100 hours until the election now - my nerves are already shot. I vacillate between confidence and panic. I'm finding myself so irritated by all of the propaganda and rhetoric...I feel like people are blind and it makes me so angry. I'm sure the other side feels the same way.

So tomorrow I will try and pick up with my 3 most important reasons for voting for Obama. Tune in and chime in!

The Final Countdown - #8 - The Irish Connection

2008-10-28T08:22:00.001-04:00

Enough said. :)

The Final Countdown - #9 - Obama's Image Around the Globe

2008-10-27T08:23:00.003-04:00

Let's be perfectly honest, America isn't well loved around the world these days. Immediately following 9/11 the vast majority of the world rallied around the USA. There were newspaper headlines saying "We are all Americans" and people the world over were praying for us and ready to join us in the battle against terrorism.

The current administration took that good will and squandered it on an ill-waged war in Iraq. Now before some of you call me a hater - let me be perfectly clear that I am grateful for our men and women in uniform. I am supportive of our troops, I am not supportive of the war or the administration that (mis) led us into it. I know several military folks personally who are supporting Obama because of how the current administration has handled Iraq and Afghanistan.

So here we are 7 years post 9/11 with much of the world thinking we see ourselves as the world's police, that we can and will have our way regardless of the validity of our reasons. The absence of WOMD in Iraq has compromised the integrity of our "intelligence" and the maverick/cowboy quality of GWB has compromised the true nature of America.

John McCain is more of the same.

Obama is loved around the world. His recent European trip gathered crowds that were reminiscent of Kennedy's from the 60's. We have a chance here to restore our standing in the world...at a time when I believe that is critical. America is still the most powerful nation in the world and if we wish to maintain that status then we have to have allies that like us for more than our money.

To the folks out there who believe that an Obama presidency opens us up for another terror attack I can only say that if there are those out to attack us they will do it regardless of who is in the White House. Hate is timeless and opportunistic. I happen to think that if America's standing in the world is restored that the evil that lurks in the hearts of terrorists may think twice before coming after us again.

The Final Countdown...#10 - An Inspirational Leader

2008-10-26T15:37:00.004-04:00

Ten days from now is the presidential election. So from now until then I will list my top 10 reasons for voting for Barack Obama.

Number 10

Barack Obama is an inspirational Leader. He leads and people follow. He has the largest grass roots campaign in our nation's history. He has broken all kinds of records for fundraising, without taking a dime from PAC's, lobbyists, or the government. People from all different backgrounds believe that he is the man that can finally lead our country in a new, more stable direction after the failed domestic and foreign policies of the past 8 years. He has assembled a coalition that has broken down barriers - racial, economic, social, educational, ideological - all of them have come tumbling down.

People write Obama off as all fluff, a good speaker with nothing to back it up. But even the most casual perusal of his website (linked to the right) will dispel that falsehood in a moment. His policies are realistic and they reverse the trend of making the rich richer and forgetting about the poor. People talk about "spreading the wealth around" like it is a bad thing!!??!! For me, as a Christian, it's all about giving my neighbor my shirt when all they ask for is my coat and walking the extra mile with those in need. If I have it, I want to share it, I don't want to hoard it. I have no problem with people making over a quarter of a million dollars a year paying higher taxes. Did you read that? A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS. Yes it is a liberal economic policy, I'm good with that. In 1960 JFK said the following:

What do our opponents mean when they apply to us the label "Liberal?" If by "Liberal" they mean, as they want people to believe, someone who is soft in his policies abroad, who is against local government, and who is unconcerned with the taxpayer's dollar, then ... we are not that kind of "Liberal." But if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." [September 14, 1960]

I'm proud too.

Clean Sheets

2008-10-26T15:36:00.001-04:00

Thanks to simply chic blogs for my new duds!

Charter Schools and Education Reform

2008-10-13T07:51:00.002-04:00

So the girls have been in a more traditional school setting for about 7 weeks now...I say more traditional because though it is definitely more structured than homeschooling it is a very progressive and exciting environment. It isn't at all like what I hear some parents or kids describe when they speak about school.

Annie and Lucy have truly enjoyed making new friends and taking the bus and jumping rope at recess. All of those thing sound a lot like what I did in school way too many years ago. But they have also enjoyed have Frick Park as an extension of their classroom. They go into the park on a regular basis for a wide variety of educational purposes. Lucy's class took a 1.5 mile hike to the Frick Nature Center for a class and both girls participated in a "stash the trash" project cleaning up the park and the neighborhood around the school. They have an Environmental Science class twice weekly in addition to their regular science class and they are doing several projects that specifically involve using materials that they already have rather than buying new things.

The Charter School movement was started not only to give parents greater choices for their children's education but also to push school districts to make necessary changes by upping the ante so to speak. When school districts lose students to Charter schools they also lost the funding that goes with those students. That money is given to the Charter school. In order to not lose students many districts are learning from charter schools how to better meet the needs of students and parents pertaining to education and making some changes. It is a slow process but it is a beginning.

Charter Schools are not wholeheartedly embraced by School Districts - which is unfortunate. For example, our school is a City of Pittsburgh Public School...we are subject to their testing guidelines and accountable to them on a variety of levels. BUT you will not find our school on their website, or any information that would lead you to our school or any of the other city charter schools. It seems to be another example of not really wanting the best for our children and their educational process.

It is obvious by national data that the USA's educational system is in need of reform. Locally the same is true in a big way. Charter Schools are just one way for reform to happen and changes to be made.

School Days, School Days...

2008-08-28T20:07:00.002-04:00

Well it's over, the first day of school that is. The girls had a great time. We got off to a rocky start when their bus didn't show up. Alex and I had planned on follwing the bus anyway and attending the morning meeting (they meet each morning as a whole school). So we hopped in the car and drove to school. We made it in time and both girls were greeted with big hugs from their teachers. (we had gone to meet the teachers on Monday so they weren't strangers)

We sat through the meeting and then they were off to their classrooms. They were excited and smiling - it felt great. I shed many tears in the car on the way home - even though I am confident this is the BEST thing for our family, I will miss those two. The house was quiet today...Jack and I played many rounds of Bingo and Go Fish. We all have to get used to this new paradigm and it will take some adjusting, but it feels so right and that gives me great peace in my heart.

Here is a picture of my gorgeous schoolgirls...

Can I Get An Update???

2008-08-22T13:51:00.004-04:00

I can't believe it is August 22nd. As I sit here with my mouth wide open, astonished at the pace the summer has flown by at, I'm feeling really blog-lazy. I haven't been here nearly enough and I haven't kept you updated nearly well enough.

There are so many things to tell all of you that I feel a little overwhelmed - okay a lot overwhelmed! Well I'll try to take them one by one and see how far I get before I'm called away.

1. In 6 days Annie and Lucy start in a brick and mortar school for the first time. I have been homeschooling them via the Pennsylvania Cyber Charter School for the past few years. But finally, a charter school that we have been following the progress of for more than 2 years had it's charter approved this past February and is opening it's doors next week. Annie will be in third grade and Lucy in first grade at The Environmental Charter School at Frick Park. It is a city of Pittsburgh public school but it is run by Imagine Schools one of the nation's only NFP charter school companies. The teachers and administration are employees of Imagine Schools and though they are accountable to the city and state for test scores the majority of their accountability lies with Imagine and also the parents of their students. This year it will be limited to grades K-3 and they will add a Kindergarten class each year until they are K-8. (So Annie will always be in the oldest class!) It is housed in the old Regent Square School building and the transformation that has occurred there over the summer has been amazing. We have been attending events all summer long designed for the kids to get to know one another and the staff and we will attend the Grand Opening on Monday and the girls will meet their teachers and see their classrooms for the first time.

I'm thrilled for this opportunity for them - it seems to me like a perfect mix between public education and homeschooling. Part of the Imagine vision is lots of parent involvement and satisfaction so I'm confident that my voice will be heard and listened to. Also they had over 300 applicants for less than 50 positions so they were able to hire the best of the best for their staff. Everyone I have met so far has been incredible and I'm excited to see how they year unfolds.

Of course I have my reservations - how can any teacher know my child and their learning style better than I can? How will my kids fare with a more rigid schedule and less flexibility? Will they fall prey to all of the potential hazards that exist for young kids in school today...bullying, trying too hard to fit in...etc? And, to be as transparent as possible, I will miss them horribly. I know that after I drop them off the first day I will shed lots of tears...my eyes are welling up writing this. But in my heart I believe this is what is right for them and for our family right now. I don't think my homeschooling days are over...we may have to revisit that issue come time for high school but that is 6 years away. (OMG - Annie will be in high school in 6 years?!)

2.Wyatt is only 9 days away from being 5 months old! Yeah, I have no idea where that time has gone. He is AWESOME! He is rolling over both ways and laughing and grabbing onto everything he can and getting it into his mouth as soon as possible. He is mesmerized by his siblings and saves his biggest smiles for them. He had some extended time with his daddy on vacation and they are developing a strong bond. I'm happy to say though that he still prefers Mama over anyone else! Our CPU is being worked on right now but when I get it back I promise some updated pictures...he looks EXACTLY like Jack did at this age...it's actually a little freaky.

3. Speaking of Jack...he is already dealing with the fact that his "sissies" (sisters) are going to be gone for much of the day this fall. He is sad because the three of them are a little pack, traveling everywhere together. Along with that comes the good - and the bad - but for the most part they are super close. He will have a tough adjustment but he is also very close to me and I hope that he and I can have some special time together this year because next year he will be in Kindergarten...and sending him off to school is sure to break my heart in two.

Okay that is all for today - I still want to write about our house and vacation...but that is all I can muster for today!

Well...DUH!

2008-07-07T18:45:00.002-04:00

Researchers have published findings this month that say when a woman sees her own baby smile it stimulates areas in her brain that trigger feelings of happiness.

What a shocking revelation!!! Read the whole article here.

Stop The Madness

2008-07-03T12:54:00.003-04:00

If you have daughters please read the following article before allowing them to receive the Gardasil vaccine. It hasn't been proven safe and real young women are dying after getting the vaccination.

Click here for the article

Click here to read a blog about a young girl who has been irreversibly harmed after receiving the vaccination.

The information on the commercials regarding this vaccine are misleading. If you aren't convinced by these articles then do your own research. See how fast this vaccination was pushed through the channels...see how little research was done in comparison with other vaccines...and see how the drug companies pockets are being FILLED with three shots in the series at close to 300 bucks a pop.

Allow your daughter to be ONE LESS getting this vaccination.

Of Smiles and Coos

2008-06-23T14:02:00.002-04:00

I have to admit that I am unashamedly soaking up every single minute of Wyatt's life. I am cuddling him, holding him LOTS, responding to every little noise he makes and loving on him at every turn. I'm sure I don't love him more than my other kids but I am enjoying this stage of his life more than I did with the first three. Why? Because, like others, with my first I was a touch neurotic...and then the other two came in such close succession that I never really got to enjoy the newborn and infant stage all that much. I was so busy caring for other babies and toddlers that I was too crazed to appreciate it all.

But now??? I am giddy with each and every smile. My heart leaps at the sound of even the smallest coo. I am so grateful for this chance to experience a baby without the anxieties of the first child or the busyness of having children close together. Annie, Lucy and Jack are all fairly independent and they are so awesome to indulge their crazy mama while she stares at and holds onto the littlest one among us. They love him too, they sing to him so he'll smile, they kiss his toes and his head, and they want him to do everything with them. "Mama just put Wyatt on the bed while we jump, he'll have fun!"

I'm just amazed once again at how God has expanded my heart to accommodate the vastness of love I have for Wyatt. It's always hard to imagine how much your heart can hold...I'm so glad God had the confidence that I could love Wyatt well. I cannot imagine my life or our family without him.

Watching History Unfold

2008-06-05T06:43:00.003-04:00

I was so aware as I watched Barack Obama win the democratic Nomination that we are all witnessing moments of extreme historical significance. For the first time in our nation's life a black man is the nominee for the presidency. I'm so proud and excited.

PS - I sure know how to pick a winner! And that post was all the way back in July of last year!!!

I'm Alive!

2008-05-17T15:38:00.002-04:00

I know it has been a long time! I have heard from many of you, my faithful readers, asking why I haven't been writing lately. Well time is scarce for 2 reasons.

One - Wyatt! He takes up a lot of our time - and it is a joy! I just don't have as much flexibility as I once did to get to the computer and blog! I usually hop on for a quick email check and that is about it!

Two - we are moving in 2 weeks! we are packing up and heading back within the city limits. This will give us greater flexibility with regards to children's future education and it puts us closer to lots of things we desire to be closer to.

Wyatt was baptized last Sunday on Mother's day! It was beautiful and whenever I get the pictures off of my camera (the cord is packed right now!) I will post them.

I have lots I want to blog about...topics ranging from ingredients in vaccines to California legalizing gay marriage. I'm sure you could spend many minutes imagining what my viewpoints are on those matters! I'll be back soon...

The Time Has Come

2008-04-22T08:12:00.004-04:00

Today is the Pennsylvania Presidential Primary! (gosh I love that alliteration!) So it's time to get out and ROCK THE VOTE!

I want to encourage all of my friends in Pennsylvania to get to their polling places and allow their voices to be heard. I consider voting to be one of the most amazing and empowering things we are able to do in this country and I'm thankful for an opportunity to lend my voice to the chorus of others who are participating in the political process. I know it is easy to be very cynical about the process but in these very important days of our nation's history it is time to set cynicism aside and use our power as part of the electorate to effect the change we hope to see.

You all know I am voting for Barack Obama - if you are a registered Democrat I strongly encourage you to check him out of you haven't already. He is more than a politician - for me and many others he is an inspiration. The inspiration we desperately need in order for real change to happen in our world.

I heard this quote on one of his TV ads here in PA. I think it was from a speech he gave at Penn State...and I love it

"It's with your voice that we're going to be able to make a difference. One voice can change a room, and if it can change a room it can change a city, and if it can change a city it can change a state, and if it can change a state it can change a nation, and if it can change a nation it can change the world. Let's go change the world." - Barack Obama

Life with Wyatt

2008-04-18T12:13:00.003-04:00

I cannot believe my last post was 9 days ago! Time is going by so fast right now. usually when I bring babies home the first few weeks seem to last years but this time is totally different. Time is racing by and I can't even tell you where the days have gone.

Wyatt is settling in to life around here. Some of the amazement is wearing off for the older three kids - and it seems as if Jack is experiencing twinges of jealousy here and there. I understand that because he had been the "baby" for 4 years before this little interloper came along and usurped his role. So we hear a lot of "don't nurse Wyatt!" and "mommy will you sit next to me?".

I'm loving breastfeeding again - it isn't without its stessors and moments of feeling so tired that I'm ready to give up - but all in all it is going well. Wyatt is gaining weight the doctor said he looks great. Unless I have some major concerns I don't have to go back until his one month appointment - which is unbelievable only 12 days from now.

We have a new nephew - John was born to Jay and Linda on April 12. My sister in law is a total beast - as she pushed out (in right about 10 minutes) a 10 pound 6 ounce baby! YEOW! John had his own stay in the NICU but is home now and doing really well. Thanks be to God! My mom has been out in New Jersey all week getting to know her newest grandson...and believe you me her 4 grandchildren here have felt her absence...not to mention their mother!

Well my little alarm clock is squeaking - must be time to open the dairy queen again or as Alex says "time for milking". Just laugh along with me!

So Yummy!!!

2008-04-09T11:38:00.002-04:00

My dear friend Sarah is starting a photography business and took some pictures of Wyatt yesterday. Here is one that I love love love. If any of you in the Pittsburgh area want to contact Sarah about pictures just let me know...I will happily put you in touch. Thanks Sarah!

Welcoming Wyatt

2008-04-08T07:31:00.002-04:00

One week ago today on April 1, 2008, our son, Wyatt Gregory was born. He entered the world at 9:05 pm weighing 8 pounds and 8 ounces and measuring 20.5 inches. His debut was not an easy one...I labored for close to 19 hours and pushed for 2.5 hours. He came out "sunny side up" which made for a interesting time...but he is here now and we are deeply in love.

We came home on April 3rd and then, sadly, Wyatt was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit on April 5th with high bilirubin counts. He was there for 48 hours and came home yesterday. He is still on a bili blanket to continue his healing but hopefully that will be gone by this afternoon or tomorrow and then we will get to the real business of settling in and finding our new normal as a family.

Annie, Lucy and Jack are all doing wonderfully with the baby. They love him so much they sometimes don't know what to do with themselves. When you have older kids bringing home a baby is a very different experience...it is the family's baby and I have to get used to that.

I'm experiencing all of the hormone changes and new mom exhaustion that are par for this stage of the game but I feel so grateful to be home and so happy to have my son in my arms...that most of the other stuff seems inconsequential.

I will be posting pictures soon...they are all on Alex's laptop right now. Thanks for your prayers and love and please continue them as we welcome baby Wyatt.

Where Have theses 3 Weeks GONE???

2008-03-13T09:47:00.004-04:00

OY! I don't know where time is going these days. I guess there is just so much going on that I haven't even found time to get here and devote any real attention to blogging.

I am in the middle of my 34th week of pregnancy. I am HUGE. I feel well for the most part and really have nothing to complain about. We are anxiously anticipating the arrival of our son and we covet your prayers for a smooth end to the pregnancy and delivery!

I'll try to be better about getting here more often but no promises. I do promise to update when the big day comes!!!

Is that the END of the Tunnel???

2008-02-21T11:25:00.003-05:00

There has been sickness in da house. Icky, exhausting and annoying sickness. First Jack got it, then I got it, then Alex got it. Annie came down with something entirely different. Lucy has remained unscathed...and I'm nervous even writing this post because for sure she will get sick tonight.

And that is another thing, why do kids always get sick at night...right when you need to rest most. I mean how are parents ever supposed to get better when they can never sleep?

Drugs are good...at least the prescription kind. My OB put me on one and Annie is on one. Annie's transformation in the first 24 hours of hers was incredible. We must have caught her strep really quickly becasue she has bounced back like a super ball on speed. Mine has definitely helped - I can sleep lying down again - rather than upright in a chair so I don't cough ALL night long. And let's just say that a intense cough and being 31 weeks pregnant with a baby right on your bladder don't mix all that well...shudder.

So it hasn't been fun...not one bit. But yesterday I was reminded of something great while Annie and I sat in the doctor's office. Until yesterday, Annie hadn't been for a sick visit in more than 18 months. She has had colds here and there and the occasional stomach thing but nothing that warranted a doctor visit in that long. For Lucy it has been 14 months and counting, the last time she even darkened the door of the office was for her well check last March. Jack had a rough year in 2007 being hospitalized twice for stomach flus...but even with that he hasn't been to the office since April of last year. (we never made it to the office in Sept we went right to the ER)

All this to say that even though everyone being sick at the same time really sucks...we have been blessed with health recently. And last week was an okay week for us to have to slow down and focus on wellness. To drink lots of yummy warm beverages and eat healthy and hearty meals. To rest when our bodies said rest and have an opportunity to care for one another in ways we don't always do when we are well. It felt nice to be taken care of...to have the kids bring me ice water and fresh navel oranges. I was touched by how they all asked me several times a day how I was feeling. They all seemed to understand in a different way what it meant for mommy to be sick.

Alex was a beast when it came to laundry and cooking. He ran this ship very efficiently - put me to shame really. It's so funny how spouses do things so differently. His strengths really do compliment my weaknesses and vice versa. It's great to be reminded of how God designs it all.

I think we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Alex is gone this weekend at a retreat...please send all of the good vibes our way for a healthy and fun weekend sans daddy.

A Good Thing

2008-02-16T10:32:00.003-05:00

Well it finally snowed more than an inch this past week. Last Monday we got a good 6-7 inches of snow here in Pittsburgh and while it wasn't the blizzard I've been hoping for it was an improvement.

The really sad thing is that I was flat on my back sick in bed while Alex and the kids romped around in the fluffy white stuff. They did throw a couple of snowballs at my window and took pictures of their adventures for me to see. I was just so sad to miss it.

Here is a picture of the kids and their friend Frosty! (he is still there now but tomorrow it is supposed to be 51 and rainy...bye bye Frosty)

2008-02-08T18:05:00.000-05:00

This article (copied from here) really sums up how I feel as someone who is pro-life and an Obama supporter.

Why I'm Pro-life and Pro-Obama
Frank Schaeffer

I am an Obama supporter. I am also pro-life. In fact, without my family's involvement in the pro-life movement it would not exist as we know it. Evangelicals weren't politicized until after my late father and evangelical leader Francis Schaeffer, Dr. Koop (Reagan's soon-to-be Surgeon General) and I stirred them up over the issue of abortion in the mid-1970s. Our Whatever Happened to the Human Race? book, movie series and seminars brought the evangelicals into the pro-life movement.

(Dad's political influence persists. Last week one of my father's followers -- Mike Huckabee -- was interviewed by Katie Couric, along with all the other presidential candidates. Couric asked the candidates if they were to be sent to a desert island and could only take one book besides the Bible, what would that that book be? Huckabee answered that he'd take my father's book Whatever Happened To The Human Race?)

Fast forward...

In 2000, we elected a president who claimed he believed God created the earth and who, as president, put car manufacturers and oil company's interests ahead of caring for that creation. We elected a pro-life Republican Congress that did nothing to actually care for pregnant women and babies. And they took their sincere evangelical followers for granted, and played them for suckers.

The so-called evangelical leadership -- Dobson, Robertson et al. also played the pro-life community for suckers. While thousands of men and women in the crisis pregnancy movement gave of themselves to help women and babies, their evangelical "leaders" did little more than cash in on fundraising opportunities and represent themselves as power-brokers to the craven politicians willing to kowtow to them.

Fast forward...

Today when I listen to Obama speak (and to his remarkable wife, Michelle) what I hear is a world view that actually nurtures life. Obama is trying to lead this country to a place where the intrinsic worth of each individual is celebrated. A leader who believes in hope, the future, trying to save our planet and providing a just and good life for everyone is someone who is actually pro-life.

Conversely the "pro-life" ethic of George W. Bush manifested itself in a series of squandered opportunities to call us to our better natures. After 9/11, Bush told most Americans to go shopping while saddling the few who volunteered for military service with endless tours of duty (something I know a little about since my son was a Marine and deployed several times). The Bush doctrine of life was expressed by starting an unnecessary war in Iraq that has killed thousands of Americans and wounded tens of thousands more.

The society that Obama is calling us to sacrifice for is a place wherein life would be valued not just talked about. As he said in his speech delivered on February 6 in New Orleans, "Too often, we lose our sense of common destiny; that understanding that we are all tied together; that when a woman has less than nothing in this country, that makes us all poorer." Obama was talking about the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, but his words also apply to our overall view of ourselves.

Regardless of the official position of the Supreme Court on abortion, a country in which all Americans are offered some sort of dignity and hopeful future would be a place conducive to the kind of optimism each of us must hold in our hearts if we are to welcome children into this world. But if our highest aspiration is to be a consumer with no thought or care for our neighbor, we will remain a culture in which abortion is not only inevitable but logical.

What we need in America is a spiritual rebirth, a turning away from the false value of consumerism and utilitarianism that have trumped every aspect of human life. To implement this vision we need leaders that inspire but to do so they have to be what they say they are. It's not about policy it's about character.

Obama's rivals for the nomination -- the Clintons -- do not inspire. When the Clintons were in the White House they talked about humane values while Bill Clinton betrayed every single person who voted for him by carrying on an unseemly sexual dalliance in the Oval Office with a young woman barely out of her teens. Since that time the Clintons have enriched themselves through their connections to a point where they're able to make a $5 million personal loan to their campaign.

For someone who says she has spent "the last 35 years of my life as an advocate for children" and/or "fighting for healthcare" that's a lot of money to have collected through doing good works. Presidential Mother Teresa wannabes shouldn't be doing deals with uranium mining outfits in Kazakhstan while schmoozing with the likes of President Nursultan Nazarbayev and wealthy mining magnates -- not if they want the moral authority to lead.

Similarly the Republicans have also been hypocrites while talking big, for instance about their pro-life ethic. But what have they achieved? First, through their puritanical war on sex education they've hindered our country from actually preventing unwanted pregnancy. Second, through the Republican Party's marriage to the greediest and most polluting earth-destroying corporations they've created a climate (both moral and physical) that has scorched the earth for-profit, with no regard to future generations whatsoever. The Republicans are to the pro-life movement what the Clintons are to selfless public service.

The real solution to abortion is to change the heart of America, not the law. We need to stop seeing ourselves as consumers. We need to stop seeing ourselves as me and begin to think of we. Our country needs someone to show us a better way, a president who is what he seems, someone with actual moral authority that our diverse population can believe in who has the qualities that make us want to follow him. Obama is that person.

Frank Schaeffer is a writer and author of "CRAZY FOR GOD -- How I Grew Up As One Of The Elect, Helped Found The Religious Right, And Lived To Take All (Or Almost All) Of It Back"

Catching Up

2008-02-07T15:30:00.000-05:00

I feel as if it has been a while since I provided anyone reading with an update on our family. Sometimes it is just easier to do a fly by and post an article or video. But I have a few quiet moments so I'll try and fill you all in on life with us.

*I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant! I feel really good for the most part. Sleeping is getting a bit arduous but generally speaking I feel amazingly good for being this far along. We had a follow up ultrasound and the baby (definitely ALL boy) looks great. The docs saw all they wanted to see but hadn't the first time and from the looks of things our baby is healthy and developing normally. Thanks be to God!

*Jack and Lucy are coming upon their 4th and 6th birthdays repectively. It is hard for me to believe they are that old already. Especially Jack - I think because I thought he was going to be my last I have kept him a baby in my heart for all of this time. But that is all about to change when we bring home a squeaking, squirming newborn. Jack wants another Cars party (since he got sick and ended up in the hospital last year) and Lucy's party will be at a local bowling alley!

*Annie has become rather entralled by the idea of her new brother. She took a while to get used to the idea but now she wants to watch shows about babies being born and the first days of life. She pretends each day to be pregnant (complete will doll under her shirt) and give birth. She dotes on her baby, who she's named Adrienne, and she really is a good little mama. I can't wait for her to meet the baby...I know it will be love at first sight.

*I am still feeling happy about the Super Bowl! I am so glad the Giants won and that the Patriots lost...and it was a really good game.

*Alex is in the midst of Lent at church...a busy time. He has a retreat later this month and several other events coming up on the calendar. He tried to plan for this semester to be loaded on the front end so he can have a more calm schedule after the baby arrives.

*I'm about to begin knitting a blanket for the baby...hopefully I can get it done before he goes to college! I'm keeping busy with schooling the girls and figuring out how I can possibly volunteer for Barack Obama since it looks like the Pennsylvania primary will actually matter for a change. I don't know what I can do but I'm very interested in looking into it.

Well that's about all for now...I'll try to be better about all of this in the future. Here are some pictures to update you on the kiddos!

An Eloquent Endorsement

2008-01-27T14:12:00.000-05:00

In today's New York Times Op-Ed section Caroline Kennedy (daughter of JFK) wrote a moving and eloquent endorsement of Barack Obama. I hope that regardless of your political leanings, you'll take the time to read it.

A President Like My Father
Caroline Kennedy

Over the years, I’ve been deeply moved by the people who’ve told me they wished they could feel inspired and hopeful about America the way people did when my father was president. This sense is even more profound today. That is why I am supporting a presidential candidate in the Democratic primaries, Barack Obama.

My reasons are patriotic, political and personal, and the three are intertwined. All my life, people have told me that my father changed their lives, that they got involved in public service or politics because he asked them to. And the generation he inspired has passed that spirit on to its children. I meet young people who were born long after John F. Kennedy was president, yet who ask me how to live out his ideals.

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that someone has a special ability to get us to believe in ourselves, to tie that belief to our highest ideals and imagine that together we can do great things. In those rare moments, when such a person comes along, we need to put aside our plans and reach for what we know is possible.

We have that kind of opportunity with Senator Obama. It isn’t that the other candidates are not experienced or knowledgeable. But this year, that may not be enough. We need a change in the leadership of this country — just as we did in 1960.

Most of us would prefer to base our voting decision on policy differences. However, the candidates’ goals are similar. They have all laid out detailed plans on everything from strengthening our middle class to investing in early childhood education. So qualities of leadership, character and judgment play a larger role than usual.

Senator Obama has demonstrated these qualities throughout his more than two decades of public service, not just in the United States Senate but in Illinois, where he helped turn around struggling communities, taught constitutional law and was an elected state official for eight years. And Senator Obama is showing the same qualities today. He has built a movement that is changing the face of politics in this country, and he has demonstrated a special gift for inspiring young people — known for a willingness to volunteer, but an aversion to politics — to become engaged in the political process.

I have spent the past five years working in the New York City public schools and have three teenage children of my own. There is a generation coming of age that is hopeful, hard-working, innovative and imaginative. But too many of them are also hopeless, defeated and disengaged. As parents, we have a responsibility to help our children to believe in themselves and in their power to shape their future. Senator Obama is inspiring my children, my parents’ grandchildren, with that sense of possibility.

Senator Obama is running a dignified and honest campaign. He has spoken eloquently about the role of faith in his life, and opened a window into his character in two compelling books. And when it comes to judgment, Barack Obama made the right call on the most important issue of our time by opposing the war in Iraq from the beginning.

I want a president who understands that his responsibility is to articulate a vision and encourage others to achieve it; who holds himself, and those around him, to the highest ethical standards; who appeals to the hopes of those who still believe in the American Dream, and those around the world who still believe in the American ideal; and who can lift our spirits, and make us believe again that our country needs every one of us to get involved.

I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them. But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans.

AND He Has a Sense of Humor!!!

2008-01-25T16:22:00.001-05:00

My Last Football Post Until Training Camp

2008-01-17T11:05:00.000-05:00

So the Steelers season is over. It was a respectable year for the first year with a new coach. We need lots of work in this off season - especially our offensive line. If we lose Alan Faneca (which is pretty much a foregone conclusion) then we will really need to beef up the line so Ben has a chance to work his magic next fall.

So now, I turn my attention to the tundra known as Green Bay, Wisconsin and throw all of my support behind Brett Favre and the Packers. As much as I might like to see Eli Manning make it to the big show and beat he who shall not be named but goes by the initials TB - I think it might be Brett's year. In '06 when the Steelers brought home the Lombardi Trophy, it was Jerome Bettis' year of destiny. I think this year might be just that for Favre. He wasn't expected to do anything of substance this year...in fact many people thought he should have retired. But he seems to be possessed by something greater than ego or himself - what it is I don't know but it is inspiring lots of people.

So in addition to routing against the New England Hatetriots I will be routing for the current hero of everyman, Brett Favre, to lead his team to victory. Let's go PACK!!!

Celebrating Zachary and Ethan

2008-01-07T13:58:00.000-05:00

On January 6th of last year my dear friend Sarah gave birth to twin boys, Zachary and Ethan. They were born at 28 weeks gestation (normal is 40 weeks) due to the fact that the bag of waters around Ethan had been leaking for 10 weeks. Sarah endured a lot in those 10 weeks including bed rest and a 4 week hospitalization. Both boys were very small when they were born and rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of the hospital where they were attended to by their mom and dad as well as some of the most gifted doctors and nurses in the city.

Sadly, the struggle for life was just too much for little Ethan and he passed a way on January 7, 2007...one year ago.

Zachary has thrived - he is a normally developing one year old who has the most amazing eyes you've ever seen. His mom calls him a superstar and that title is so very accurate for this little man. He is a wonderful child. Yesterday we joined in the celebration of Zachary's first year. Their house was filled with people who love Zack and were eager to party in honor of his birthday.

Then today, with a smaller group we joined in on the celebration of Ethan. We went to a local park and after Sarah and her mom read a Jewish prayer of mourning in Hebrew balloons were released. Even the weather was perfect...it was warm and cloudy with some peeks of blue in the sky. It seemed to be saying that it understood what was going on. Zack held onto the balloons with his mom and dad and when they said so he let go and then we all watched as they soared into the heavens...a birthday present for an angel baby who was with us for far too short a time.

Happy Birthday to the little superstar, Zack and also to his angel brother, Ethan.

Thank You Iowa!!!

2008-01-04T10:27:00.000-05:00

A huge victory for Barack Obama in the Iowa Caucus last night! Winning by 9 and 10% over Edwards and Clinton gives amazing momentum to this candidate of hope in what is being called the most important election in modern history. I encourage all of my readers (even if you think your mind is made up) to go to Barack Obama's website and listen to some of the speeches they have there. Even if they don't change your vote, they will make you think and re-evaluate where America is headed and the "audacity of hope" that Obama hopes to bring.

Here is a great song about voting and Obama:

">

Another Contest!

2008-01-03T16:36:00.001-05:00

Kim the owner of thebabymarketplace.com - a great online spot for Baby Clothing, Shoes, Toys, Gifts and Cloth Diapers is hosting the January Gift Card Give-Away @ mommyknows.com go on over and comment and be entered to Win one of two $100 Gift Cards!

Contest!!!

2007-12-28T10:26:00.000-05:00

Kim the owner of thebabymarketplace.com - a great online spot for Baby Clothing, Shoes, Toys, Gifts and Cloth Diapers @ is hosting the December JuJuBe Diaper Bag Give-Away @ mommyknows.com go on over and comment and be entered to Win one of two great JuJuBe MiniBe Diaper Bags!

What We Are Listening To This Season

2007-12-19T13:20:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd give you our recommendations for Holiday Music. Each Title is also a clickable link directly to where you can buy it! Enjoy.

Josh Groban - Noel

Barenaked Ladies - Barenaked for the Holidays

Bing Crosby - White Christmas

John Denver and the Muppets - A Christmas Together

James Taylor - James Taylor at Christmas

Nat King Cole - The Christmas Song

Vince Guaraldi and the Peanuts - A Charlie Brown Christmas

Even Steven

2007-12-03T16:34:00.000-05:00

Well today was the big ultrasound! First and foremost, the baby looks wonderful...healthy and gorgeous! We thank God for that above all else.

And from the looks of things, it appears that we are having another boy!!! So we are going to have 3 males and 3 females in the house - making everything even!

We are going to try and scan in some ultrasound pictures and if we are sucessful I will post some here.

Thanks for all of your prayers and good wishes!

Alternative Holidays

2007-11-30T08:45:00.000-05:00

Alex and I have been doing some talking lately about how, as our kids grow up we want to impart some different values about Christmas to them. Thankfully, we are living in a time where lots of resources exist to help us out. I thought I'd share some of them with you.

For a different take on Advent, check out Advent Conspiracy. It's chock full of ideas for how to spend the time leading up to Christmas focusing on the gift of Jesus rather than material gifts. It's is definitely suited for older kids but can still offer good ideas for families with younger ones.

For some alternative Christmas gifts, head on over to one of the following:

The Heifer Project

World Vision

Trees For Life

Church World Service

Changing The Present

Well that should get us started! It can be hard to turn the tide, I know that all too well. But it is a worthy endeavor and one that I believe honors the birth of Christ in a very authentic way.

Peace friends.

Thankful

2007-11-21T12:35:00.001-05:00

Last year I made a list of the 10 things I was most grateful for at that time. I really think it helped put me in a good frame of mind as we raced headlong into the crazed holiday season so I'm doing it again! Enjoy...

1. Only 425 Days Left - In the Bush Presidency. For that I'm truly thankful!

2. Our Small Group - Last March we began meeting with a wonderful group of adults from our church. It has been a rich and fulfilling process and I am so grateful for these friends.

3. Bobby and Susie's Wedding - It was such a joy to watch our dear friends join their lives together this October...and a true honor to be a part of their special day.

4. The Pool - I love being able to go to the pool everyday in the summer. The kids love it and their swimming has really improved. It is so wonderful to get outside and soak up the sun and splash around in the water!

5. Mom's Retirement - After many years of working hard my mom retired last week! I'm so happy for her and can't think of anyone who deserves to enjoy retirement more than she does. I'm looking forward to a more energetic and less stressed mom and grandma who can spend lots of time with us!

6. My friend Anne - I've become good friends with Anne - who has been in the states with her family for a few months before they head back to Africa (where they live full time) at the end of the year. Though I'm already sad that she is leaving, I'm confident that this is a lifelong friendship.

7. God's AMAZING Grace - There have been several times this year when I have been in need of amazing grace...and God has never let me down. I'm thankful that He has placed people in my life who have shown me the limitless nature of grace.

8. Spiritual Direction - Another huge blessing has come in the form of Jeanne, my spiritual director. Our monthly meetings have opened my eyes and blessed my heart.

9. My Family - As the mom, I have a chance to sometimes take a step back and watch my family and I'm in awe of them. I love learning more and more about each of them and watching as God develops in them wonderful hearts. Alex, Annie, Lucy and Jack are real touchstones for God in my life.

10. New Life - I'm most thankful for this new life growing inside of me. I really didn't imagine a year ago that I would be pregnant now...as much as we talked about 4 kids, I think we both thought we were done at 3. But I cannot imagine life without this promise, this blessing, this gift.

NaBloPoMo Dropout

2007-11-21T10:03:00.000-05:00

I just couldn't hack it. With family in town since last Saturday and busy days planned all the way through turkey day I had to let some things go and blogging was one of them. Really, I wish that this post everyday for a month contest was not in a month with a major holiday...not to mention it is during football season. :)

So I'm a NaBloPoMo dropout...no shame in that. I could dropout of a lot more major things than that.

Be on the lookout for my list of things I'm most thankful for...hopefully tonight or tomorrow.

Looking for Soup Recipes

2007-11-15T09:33:00.000-05:00

It's getting colder now and I need some good soup recipes. I have a fab Black Bean Soup recipe but I'm looking for others that are hearty, healthy and low maintenance. Please, if you have any let me know!!!

Get Smart and End Hunger

2007-11-13T20:21:00.000-05:00

Here is a link to a site that will test your vocabulary knowledge and for every time you click they donate 10 grains of rice through the United Nations to end world hunger. Ten grains may not seem like a lot but the game is very quick and you could click many many times in a relatively short period. It's kind of addicting too...but I rationalized it by telling my self that it was for a good cause!!!

CLICK HERE

Baby Update

2007-11-12T15:39:00.000-05:00

I went to the Doctor this morning for my monthly check up. Everything looks great and I hear the heartbeat! I had seen it on the ultrasound a month ago but hearing it is so reassuring and wonderful. I just love that sound - like a washing machine whooshing away - and it is such a beautiful reminder of the REAL life that is within me.

The positioning of the baby this morning leaves no doubt in my mind that what I'm feeling every now and then is the little one kicking me. I can't wait until the kids can feel it. I scheduled my ultrasound for December 3 so in three weeks we will (hopefully) know what flavor is in there and the the name game can begin in earnest. Right now it's pure speculation so we aren't getting too attached to any names.

*Big Happy Sigh*

Oops I Did It Again!

2007-11-11T08:14:00.000-05:00

I missed yesterday...some days are just too busy for blogging and I have to accept that my life is in a season where I may not be able to blog everyday for a month straight. I don't like that fact but it is what it is.

Just briefly stopping in this Sunday morning to say hi and to wish my sister in law Monica a Happy Birthday! we love you Monica!

OB appointment tomorrow morning - so look for an update later in the day!

This Is Getting Ridiculous

2007-11-09T08:38:00.000-05:00

I'm not kidding when I say that EVERYday I get another email from the Consumer Product Safety Commission about more and more children's product recalls. For the first time today the alert contained information about a toy we have in this house. The Curious George doll that has been recalled is one that was given as a gift to Jack for his second birthday. It will certainly be a delicate process to extract it from him because he LOVES George. But all of my kids are very aware of all of the recalls and Annie is checking everything to see where it is made - and if it is made in China she is convinced it must be thrown out and burned in the fiery furnace of toy death.

I am getting so overwhelmed about all of these concerns, especially with a new baby on the way. I feel as if I should be making all homemade toys for the baby. None of my kids really put things in their mouths any longer but a baby most certainly will. As if there isn't enough to worry about with kids...now their toys are poisonous. OY!

We're Famous!

2007-11-08T08:33:00.000-05:00

Here is a link to a video to a local newscast about lead levels in toys that all three kids and I are in. You just see Jack briefly in the beginning but he is there! The girls actually speak and I have a short sound byte at the beginning. Pretty exciting. Just click on the picture and the video will start!

Oh and if you'll notice I already missed a day of blogging yesterday...ah well, I'll keep trying!

I Promise

2007-11-06T08:12:00.000-05:00

That this will be my last post about football for a little while...but CAN I GET AN AMEN????? What a game last night. I even felt comfortable going up to bed after halftime and turning it on up there (knowing I would be asleep in seconds) because it was such a massive crushing of Baltimore.

Speaking of redemption...it came in the form of 5 touchdown passes in the first half for Big Ben...and in the form of 3 sacks, 9 tackles, 3 forced fumbles, 1 fumble recovery and 1 interception for James Harrison.

And it was real football in the cool driving rain of Pittsburgh...where the chumps are separated from the champs. GO STEELERS!!!

It's a Football Night in Pittsburgh

2007-11-05T09:23:00.000-05:00

Tonight Pittsburgh takes center stage in the NFL as we host Monday Night Football. And even though MNF isn't what it once was back in the days of Dandy Don, Frank Gifford, and Al Michaels (and the new hosts are just awful) it is still an honor to have MNF in our town. The Steelers will get showcased in a special way and they are playing their number one rival (and my most HATED team of all time) the Baltimore Ravens...BOO!

Last year the Ravens humiliated us not once but twice and it is time for some redemption in da burgh. Not to mention that if we lose we enter into a three way tie for the lead in our division...and we don't want that!

So wherever you are, help me cheer the Black and Gold onto victory...especially in the latter parts of the second half when I cannot guarantee I will still be awake!

Unbelievable

2007-11-04T20:25:00.000-05:00

Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England ~~Cheaters~~ Patriots, is having an unbelievable season. In the first nine games of the season he has 33 touchdowns - the NFL record for an entire season is 43 - and he is on par to have 60 by season's end. He seems unstoppable and pretty close to perfect.

I have a theory on this - and it is a bold one so hold onto your hats. Tom Brady made a pact with the devil. There, I said it. I just cannot believe anyone could be that good on his own - not to mention the supermodel he is dating. Come on, things like that just don;t happen without supernatural intervention and if God was interested in helping a football team we ALL know it would be the Steelers. Therefore I conclude that Tom Brady has made a pact with the devil. We'll see how it all plays out but I'm warning you now...that guy is just a little evil so be careful if he is on your fantasy team.

Soccer and Life

2007-11-03T18:31:00.000-04:00

Today was the girls second to last soccer game. They play on a local team and Alex is their coach. They have been doing really well all season but today they lost 7-0. As I sat around listening to them after the game I had to laugh. They were exclaiming very loudly "they got seven and we had ZERO...can you believe it ZERO". While most of the kids were fairly unfazed by it all one little boy was taking it very hard. Alex sat on the grass and talked to him about it, listening to his feelings and reassuring him that the most important things was that he did his best and had fun. He seemed a bit bolstered by this but not totally convinced of the merits of Alex's pep talk.

I can relate to that...sometimes when life beats me up 7-0 I am more than a little cranky. And it helps a little to know that I tried hard but in reality I still feel like road kill. I feel flattened and fatigued and discouraged...probably how the little boy felt to a certain extent. Lucy, who is usually pumped up after a soccer game (read: win) fell asleep on the way to the waterfront...I could tell the game had worn her out rather than invigorate her.

Losing is hard work! What is important is learning how to lose gracefully and not to let losing take the wind out of your sails for too long...and I hope that all of those kids today have already forgotten about the beating they took and are looking forward to next week!

Big Sigh

2007-11-02T18:35:00.000-04:00

Mom's surgery is over and it was the best of all possible scenarios! Thanks to those of you who prayed and encouraged me today with emails, text messages, and phone calls.

Sorry to be so brief but I've got three children who I haven't seen all day to go smother with kisses!!! See you tomorrow!

Yesterday and Tomorrow

2007-11-01T10:24:00.000-04:00

So yesterday was Halloween and a good time was had by all. Annie was a flying unicorn, Lucy was a tiger and Jack was Scooby Doo. I will post pictures soon...and I know I keep saying that but I really will! Two families from church came over and went Trick or treating with us and that was a lot of fun. I stayed back and handed out the candy - and there were a lot of people out last night. We had at least 150 trick or treaters, it was madness!

Tomorrow my mom is having surgery. As far as we know it is nothing serious and I am counting on that. But I do covet your prayers for her tomorrow and during her recovery and I will keep you updated on how she is doing.

As for today? Well it is November! The month of my birthday, and even as I get older I still love my birthday. It is also the first day of National Blog Posting Month (linked below) and here I am posting away! I hope you'll check back often to cheer me on!

NaBloPoMo

2007-10-29T15:12:00.000-04:00

I'm taking another suggestion from Liz's blog and joining National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo). So I have to post everyday in the month of November...I have serious doubts as to my ability to do this but I'm giving it a try. I'm already making a list of all of the things I want to blog about. So tune in for, what I hope will be, a fun and informative November.

I'm It! Good Things...

2007-10-29T09:43:00.000-04:00

I was "tagged" on my dear friend Liz's blog to list some GOOD THINGS in life right now. I've never been tagged before, so thanks Liz, this is fun!

Good Things

*Teeny Tiny Baby Movements - I'm beginning to feel those little popcorn popping movements inside my belly every now and again. It's undeniably the little one growing inside of me and it fills me with awe and wonder each time I feel it.

*The Aroma of Yummy Things Coming from the Crockpot - I love using my crockpot. It makes life so much easier to know that a big portion of our family meal is cooking and that at convergence of chaos that is the dinner hour I won't have as much to do. Plus the entire house fills with the smells of whatever is cooking.

*Pajama Days - This past Saturday we found out early on that the girls soccer game had been cancelled and we ended up staying in our pajamas ALL day. We ate lunch together, the kids played board games, Alex got a bunch of things done around the house, and I napped in the couch! When we bathed, which was late in the day, we all put clean pajamas right back on! It was so great to be home all day and be in relaxation mode!

*Listening to Annie Read - I love hearing Annie read and discover new things about life and the world around her. She is reading really well and loves chapter books now. It is my hope that she will develop a passion for reading.

*Seeing the Budding Friendship Between Lucy and Jack - Lucy and Jack are both extremely imaginative children who can sit a play with toys for a long time. Recently they have begun playing together and it is a joy to listen to them create magical worlds together. They also love board games - and even though they don't always follow the rules they have a blast!!!

*Walking Together - Alex and I have been married 8.5 years and I feel like right now we are walking together...in step with one another in ways we have never before. There is a clarity and a sense of being in sync and it is a wonderful place to be. It's not exciting or thrilling or a make your stomach flip with giddiness - it is solid and enduring and comforting. I'm thankful...

A Pregnancy Update

2007-10-17T15:26:00.001-04:00

Well I'm 13.5 weeks pregnant now and I think I'm beginning to feel less sick. I'm still really tired, but I guess that will last throughout.

I had the chance to see the baby via ultrasound on Monday. My doctor wanted a more accurate due date so I hopped on over to the hospital and saw the little life growing inside of me. The baby was squirming around and flailing it's tiny arms and legs everywhere. It's heart was beating away and though this is the fourth child I have experienced this with it never ceases to amaze me. My heart was bursting as I watched the screen and I loved every second of it.

So 26.5 weeks left to go! Baby is expected right around tax day!

Homeschoolers Continue to Out-Perform Traditional Students

2007-10-11T10:16:00.000-04:00

Here is a linky-loo to an article accompanying some research on Homeschooling by a Canadian research institute. I appreciate the fact that homeschooling seems to be an equalizer for socio-economic issues and that even under educated parents are achieving greater results for their children than trained educators.

LINK

Happy Birthday to my Firstborn

2007-10-09T18:21:00.000-04:00

Here is Annie, 7 years old today, with her present. Yes, a kitten. (Don't think I'm too crazy, the dog is gone...something else to blog about one of these days) So this is Annabelle (named by Annie), she is two and a half months old and just the tiniest and sweetest little thing in the world. She is bonding to Annie...and she slept curled up by her head all last night...it really was too cute.

7 years old?!?! It seems, at the same time, impossible that she has been here that long and that she hasn't been my life forever and ever. She is growing and changing so fast these days. She is into High School Musical (1 & 2), Hannah Montana (concert tickets story coming soon), and everything girly! This Saturday her party is being held a local Tea Room where they have Princess Tea Parties for little girls. So I will be there with 10 little girls dressing up and painting their nails with glitter nail polish...even Daddy and Jack aren't invited. I'll be sure to post some pictures from that adventure!

Happy Birthday Annie - I love you more than my heart can fathom.

A Decade

2007-10-08T10:26:00.000-04:00

10 Years. 120 Months. 520 Weeks. 3,650 Days. 876,000 Hours. 5,256,000 Minutes.

A decade ago on this day my friend Chuck died. I wrote about it here a year ago. It is barely believable to me that it has been 10 years since I saw his face or heard his voice. Time is a funny thing...and it sneaks up on you when you least expect it to.

Lots has happened in my life in 10 years...some things Chuck would have been proud of and some of them not so proud. But he would have stood by me no matter what cheering me on or helping me see where I went wrong.

I still don't understand why he is gone and I still wish he was here. I don't expect those things will ever change...and that is okay.

Convergence of Chaos

2007-10-05T11:47:00.000-04:00

This weekend seems to define chaos for our family.

It is our church's retreat weekend which means Alex is loaded up with responsibilities with students at a retreat center about an hour away.

It is also the wedding weekend of our dear dear friends Bobby and Susie!!!! Alex and I are leading some worship in the ceremony and Annie and Lucy are flower girls! We also have the honor of being the people who set Bobby and Susie up with each other...our very first set up to actually go all the way to marriage! So it's a very important event for our family.

In addition my aunt is coming to town to celebrate her 50th high school reunion!

So today around 3, Alex will leave for the retreat and I will take the girls to the wedding rehearsal at 6:30. I, unfortunately, have to miss the rehearsal dinner to get home and get the kids in bed. Then tomorrow, my mom and aunt will take Jack for the day and Alex will come home at 1:30 so we can be at the church by 2:30 for the wedding at 3:30! My mom will pick the girls up after the ceremony while Alex and I get to enjoy a bit of the reception before picking up all three kids and heading back up to the church retreat by 10 pm. Tired yet?

We will be at the retreat until lunch on Sunday and then we will come home and collapse in front of the television to watch the Steelers (hopefully) beat the Seahawks. I bet I'm not awake for much of the game!

Although I'm dreading all of the busy-ness of the weekend, I am filled to overflowing with joy for Bobby and Susie. Susie is such a wonderful friend and she has been there for me through thick and think. We have known her for 7+ years now and she is a part of our family in inextricable ways. Bobby and Alex have known one another longer than I can even remember and we value him more than we could ever say. We are so thrilled to have been a part of their story up until now and we look forward in great anticipation to what God has in store for them in the wonderful adventure of marriage.

So even though I won't be drinking the champagne my heart will be toasting the coming together of these two lives for weeks and months to come.

I'm Still Here

2007-10-03T13:02:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a long time...but between homeschooling both girls and caring for all three kidlets...in addition to trying not to throw up every minute of the day I have been pretty tied up. Things are going well on all fronts...and I'm hoping the morning sickness ( all day sickness is more like it...must have been a man that named it morning sickness :) )will subside soon as I'm nearing the end of the first trimester.

Anyway I received this video in an email and I got a chuckle out of it...I know lots of it will sound familiar to many of you...either you've said it or heard it. Enjoy.

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

We Will Never Forget

2007-09-11T08:26:00.000-04:00

And So It begins Again

2007-09-10T19:38:00.000-04:00

They're baaacccckkk! The Steelers opened the regular season with a 34-7 whopping of the Cleveland Browns...and it was GLORIOUS! Big Ben looked fantastic and there seemed to be an energy and team spirit that was missing last season.

Welcome back boys...we've missed you.

Alex and Beth version 4.0

2007-09-02T17:39:00.000-04:00

We are thrilled to share with you that we are expecting another addition to our family in mid April. We have known for a few weeks but have been enjoying keeping the secret a little longer than we normally would. But now the kids now so it's out of the bag. We have gotten over the initial shock - and yes it was a shock - and now we are over the moon with happiness. So far things are going really well but we covet your prayers for this littlest one among us and for the rest of us as we prepare for this amazing blessing. Another little baby...*big happy sigh*. Here is a little glimpse into what is happening with our tiny wonder...

How your baby's growing:
Your baby still appears to have a small tail (actually, it's an extension of his tailbone), which will disappear in the next few weeks. But that's the only thing getting smaller. Now almost half an inch long — roughly the size of a raspberry — he has elbow joints and distinct, slightly webbed fingers and toes. In his over sized head, both hemispheres of his brain are developing. His teeth and the inside of his mouth are forming, and his ears continue to develop. Eyelid folds partially cover his tiny peepers, which already have some color, and the tip of that nose you'll be tweaking someday is emerging. His skin is paper-thin and his veins are clearly visible.

Your little one also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. His liver is busy producing red blood cells, and a loop of your baby's growing intestines is bulging into his umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from his tiny body. You can't feel his gyrations yet, but your baby is like a little jumping bean, moving in fits and starts around his watery home.

Magnificent Mama Moments

2007-08-12T21:13:00.000-04:00

Ahhhhhhhh...I love days like today. Days where things come together in ways I could never predict. Serendipitous moments that overflow with joy and make me feel as if contentment is oozing from my pores. Yummy days that I want to savor for a long time but, like every other day, they slip away into the darkness of night bringing the uncertainty of tomorrow.

But for right now I'm basking in the glow from this glorious day, smiling a peaceful smile and sighing the good kind of sigh. Maybe the 2 things that happened today will seem insignificant to you, o reader of my blog...but to me they are what life is all about these days. Allow me to share...

Both things happened at the pool. All summer I have been gently encouraging Annie to take her deep water test, which consists of swimming the length of the pool and treading water for 30 seconds. I knew she could do it - but that's not what's important in this scenario...she had to know it for herself. Once she passes the deep water test she can swim anywhere in the pool on her own and go off of the diving board. I can remember going off of the diving board in my youth...over and over again and every single time screaming "mom, watch me!"...I knew Annie would love it. So when we arrived at the pool tonight at half past six and we were pretty much the only ones there Annie said..."hey this might be a good night for me to take my deep water test"...I can only hope my mouth wasn't hanging open too long!

So off she went down the pool, 25 meters in all. She rocked it out! She even had to contend with the massive vacuum cleaner they were using at the time and it didn't really phase her one bit. She rested for a moment and then hopped in the deep end for her treading water. Piece of cake I'll tell you! I was bursting with pride...I felt like she had just won the gold medal of life! She faced her fear and slaughtered that beast. She went off of the diving board for the rest of the time we were at the pool...we may never see her in the shallow end again!

A while later, Lucy and I were goofing around in the shallow end and that is when the next moment happened. Lucy swam over to me and threw her arms around my neck...for some reason I didn't say "don't hang on me" which is a mantra of mine at the pool. I'm glad I didn't. Lucy leaned around and said to me "the meaning of love". I said "what is the meaning of love baby girl?" She said " you are the meaning of love mama"...my heart melted into a puddle right then and there. I have never heard such words of sweetness in my life.

What she couldn't possibly know is that she is the meaning of love. Lucy and her brother and sister are the meaning of the love that God has given Alex and I. They are the contents of the most beautiful gift ever created...a gift I couldn't have dreamed up in a lifetime spent dreaming.

Some days are like masterpieces and today was one of those.

Telephone Pole Wisdom

2007-07-23T09:55:00.000-04:00

My kids love reading flyers on telephone poles. Recently there were flyers plastered all over our neighborhood about Rufus, a cat that had gone missing. We actually met and talked to his owner one evening as she was combing the streets looking for the little beast who had managed to escape from his home. A few days later we saw more flyers expressing gratitude because Rufus had been found! We breathed a collective sigh of relief (the girls because the frisky feline had been caught...and Alex and I because we wouldn't have to hear about Rufus 24/7 any longer!). The relief was short lived though, within 10 days there was yet a third set of flyers saying Rufus (apparently the Houdini of cats) had disappeared again. Thankfully, even the girls were growing tired of the saga and lost interest in Rufus and his plight. We haven't heard anything more about the little guy...so either he is still lost or his owners have maxed out their xerox budget for the year.

One evening as we were walking around reading the Rufus flyers one of the kids commented about all of the staples on the telephone pole. As I walked by I saw them...literally thousands of staples all over the pole. I found myself wondering about all of the signs that must have decorated the pole and all of the people who put them there. Signs no doubt for missing animals, yard sales, no parking, and Penelope's baby shower. Signposts that lead us somewhere, give us direction, seek to find what is lost and on and on. Little pieces of life stuck to a wooden tower.

So the signs get ripped down to make room for new ones, but the staples remain. A little scrap of metal left to testify that Rufus was lost, found and lost again. That 65 Elm street had a "monster" yard sale with "baby items, furniture and knick knacks". That the police department says you cannot park here from midnight until noon for the community day parade. Little bits of metal that represent people's lives - left on that pole for how long? Who knows?

I wonder what sort of marks are left on my life by events and people? Of course some are quite obvious but others not so much. What sorts of things shape us and give texture to our person? Marks that transform us from a smooth wooden tower into a monument to humanity. Little bits of people and experiences that hang on after the people are gone and the experiences are over.

What are those things in your life?

Two Words: A Mazing!

2007-07-20T09:17:00.000-04:00

I had an experience with my children this week that blew me away. On Monday Alex and some of the students from church participated in The 30 Hour Famine After sleeping over at the church Monday night they went to the World Vision Distribution Center just outside Pittsburgh to pack clothing to be sent all over the world to people in need. Alex and I decided this might be a good way for us ti introduce the idea of serving in a more global sense to our own children. It was for a short period of time and we are familiar with the setting, so we knew they would be safe.

So Tuesday morning we met up with the group at church and headed out. When we arrived and got oriented we began the process of unpacking, checking, recounting and repacking boxes of clothes to send out. We didn't assign tasks to our kids we let them check everything out and figure out where they fit best. Here are some pictures of the results.

They all found a niche and worked their hearts out. Annie put together almost all of the boxes we packed. She had the volunteer coordinator show her how to do it once and she was off. Lucy lent a hand wherever she was needed, most often cleaning up trash or breaking down boxes for recycling. And then there was Jack...he sat on the table we were all standing around and took shirts out of their bags and ripped their tags off, which had to be done before they could be repackaged. His diligence and concentration amazed me...he is 3!!! There was no complaining, there was no whining. They even pushed the rest of us to get back to work after our break time. They worked hard for three hours and had a great time doing it.

It has long been a desire of mine and Alex's to involve our children in meaningful service from a young age...I admit I didn't think that would happen for another few years. I am glad that I was wrong. We are hoping to make volunteering at World Visions Distribution Center a regular part of our lives and we're also hoping that it opens all of our eyes to the very great needs that exist all around the globe.

Houston, We Have Lost A Tooth!!!

2007-07-17T22:08:00.000-04:00

At 8:35 this evening, when all should have been quiet on Maple Avenue, I heard two sets of feet come bounding down the steps. All of a sudden Annie thrusts a sock with a few drops of blood on it in my face with a look on her face that is a mixture of sheer excitement and terror. Seeing as the sock is white, it took me moment to catch on...okay maybe it took her yelling "I LOST MY TOOTH!!!" (are you asking yet what the sock had to do with it??? Apparently it was the first thing she found after she "helped" the tooth out...it really was barely hanging on...I've been amazed by her patience.)

The next moments seemed to move in slow motion...I grabbed the tooth, looked in her mouth to make sure all was well and then I hugged her tightly. My baby, my firstborn had lost her first tooth...this means she will be getting her adult teeth soon and that word...adult...shouldn't be used in relation to her in any way yet. She is my baby! A bittersweet moment for sure.

So we had the ceremonial swishing of salt water around the mouth to rid it of anything evil and potentially harmful. Does that even work? I don't know but the first thing my mom asked when Annie called to tell her the big news was "did you rinse your mouth out with salt water?"...so I come by it naturally. And then we got the camera out. Alex seemed to think this could maybe wait until morning...oh no I corrected him...this was a kodak moment if there ever had been one...find that darn camera! Here are some pics from just a little while ago. First is a close-up of the space formerly occupied by the tooth. Next is Annie trying to show the new hole in her smile holding the tooth fairy pillow with the tooth inside. And finally a close up of the tooth fairy pillow I blogged about a few weeks ago that I made out of an old maternity dress.

Another threshold crossed in the land of motherhood. I never though I would be so excited about my daughter losing something. It's a rite of passage for sure and I can't wait to creep into her room and replace the tooth with a letter of congratulations from the tooth fairy (only for the first tooth) and $1 (also only for the first tooth). From here on out it's 25 cents and a wink as I leave the room!

Funnies on Friday!

2007-07-13T15:54:00.000-04:00

I saw this video and I was laughing SO hard...here's hoping it gives you a giggle too!

Update on Life with Us!

2007-07-11T09:25:00.001-04:00

It has been a while since I posted a general update on life with my family...so I thought I would take a few moments to do so. Bear with me, it probably won't be the most exciting thing in the world.

At this point mid-summer we are all working on some seriously nice tans because we are at the pool everyday that the weather permits. The kids are just loving it and their swimming skills are improving tremendously. Annie is mostly independent in the pool though she is hesitating on taking her deep water test so she still has to stay in the shallow end. Lucy would be more independent if she were taller!!! She can swim but she gets nervous when she cannot stand and she can only stand comfortable in a little more than 3 feet. She is three and a half feet tall but her head is a good 6 inches of that! I do think she is having a growth spurt though so hopefully by the summer's end she will have gained a bit more height and confidence!!! we have nicknamed Jack "barnacle boy" because he clings to me the entire time we are in the pool! :) Actually he is slowly taking some strides towards swimming and I will have him take lessons this winter with the girls so that next summer he can do more. We love the pool and are so grateful for our time there. I have even reconnected with a woman I went to high school with which has been a nice surprise.

Annie has her first loose tooth! She noticed it just before we left for Virginia and it is really wiggly as of today! She is just thrilled because all of her friends have been losing their teeth for a long time now. Annie didn't get her first tooth until just after her first birthday so it has taken her longer to lose them. I can't believe how excited I am for her. I loved losing teeth and the whole tooth fairy thing as a kid and I can't wait for the darn thing to fall out!!! Last night I finished making a tooth fairy pillow for the kids. I will post pics when I remember! I used an old maternity dress to make it so it has some sentimental meaning behind it. I'll keep you posted on the tooth!

Alex is still busy at work - this week he is working with 7 students building guitars. Music is a big part of his ministry and I have seen so many great relationships built through classes like these that he offers. It's wonderful. I'm still volunteering with Student Ministries and loving it.

Lucy is getting geared up for Kindergarten - of course it is in a different way since my kids are home schooled - but she is excited none the less. She is really anxious to read and I hope she isn't frustrated at what she has to learn before that will happen!

Annie and Lucy attend a day camp at a local church and they LOVE it! This year's theme is nature and yesterday they went on a bug hunt at a local nature conservancy. I was amazed when they told me what they caught...Japanese beetles, daddy long legs, potato bugs! My girls are terrified of bugs! Last night there was a ladybug in my room and they were freaked...but just earlier in the day one of their friends caught a snake and they said it was "cool". Oh well!

Jack is amazing...he has been potty trained for months now and he is talking so well after graduating from speech therapy in March. I feel so good about our decision to have him do the therapy...he is communicating with people all of the time and I can tell his confidence is skyrocketing because of it!

Well that is all I have time for now...but it brings you up to speed with us for the most part. I owe some pictures of the kids and I'll add one now.

Placing My Eggs In A Basket

2007-07-05T11:23:00.000-04:00

I have decided to support Barack Obama in his bid for the presidency. I have joined his website and started a blog there. Here is a copy of my first post.

(I know politics can be a polarizing issue - please know these are my views and I respect the right of everyone to have their own views. I welcome your views even if they diverge from mine - I love the chance to learn from others and to have my stances challenged.)

It isn't without some fear that I enter into the unknown (to me) world of the Democratic party. For all of the 19 years I have been a registered voter it has been as a Republican (and truth be told I haven't officially changed yet...but I have decided to). As that naive 18 year old I didn't bother to ask myself why I chose that party. It was the party of my parents, and on the "hot button" topics I fell down on the conservative side.

Back then I was willing to be a single issue voter - I was young and idealistic - and I didn't realize that voting on one issue alone was incredibly short sighted and hypocritical. So I voted for someone who was against abortion - but they were also against legislation that helped the poor. How could I be so concerned with only the unborn...to the exclusion of the living? Viewing the world through the eyes of a college freshman, I couldn't see the disparity in my thinking...or maybe I just didn't want to.

Looking back, I can see that the transformation has been slow and deliberate. Different circumstances coming together to open my eyes to issues at home and abroad that challenged my views. Relationships with real people who were being oppressed by the policies in place. Realizing that the "American Dream" was reserved for the few rather than the many. All of these things plus more helped to lift the veil from my eyes so I could see that I was now in the wrong place.

Compassion matters...and the whole compassionate conservative thing has never really taken flight. People matter...and I can no longer align myself with a political party that seems to value the wealthy above the poor and executive privilege above openness and honesty in leadership. Peace matters...and as the most powerful nation in the world we must have peace as a core value...it cannot be optional.

So why Barack Obama you may ask? Because when I looked at his Issues page ( Link ) I knew he was someone who I could believe in. I believe he will be honest...even when he has to do hard things. I believe he cares about America and it's people and I believe he will do what he can to help the marginalized, oppressed, and downtrodden. That's why Barack Obama gets my support...his policies and points of view have earned it.

Happy 4th of July

2007-07-04T09:52:00.000-04:00

What I learned on My Summer Vacation

2007-07-01T10:44:00.000-04:00

Whew! It is hard to believe that this time last week my mom, the kids and I were driving through Washington DC trying to catch a glimpse of the White House. Post 9-11, you cannot get near the place in a car and the kids are a little too young for the complete walking tour. But we caught the most popular view from Constitution Avenue and Annie was satisfied. We also say the Capitol and the Washington Monumnet. I'm so lucky that I grew up there and got to see all of those things and all of the great museums as a kid.

We had a wonderful trip. We visited with old friends in Bethesda, MD and then with family in Fredricksburg and Williamsburg, VA. All in all it was a good time and fun was had by all. I thought I would share with you some lessons I learned on the journey.

1. The south is HOT...sweltering...sticky...inhumane...and I am a wussy northener. I couldn't believe how hot it was. When it is 103 with 95% humidity...I'm calling it a day. Give me some AC or a cool pool and it's all good but other than that I'm melting and so are my kids. No sir, I was not created for that kind of heat.

2. The beginnings of our country were both heroic and tragic. We had a chance to visit both Colonial Williamsburg and the Jamestown Settlement and we all loved it. It was so wonderful for the kids and me to see so much about how people lived back in those days...it was a simpler time without many of the things that distract us today (you know blogs and whatnot). The Jamestown settlers came over to this country as a business venture...not seeking freedom of any sort. They made a heroic journey under troubling conditions and really helped to form the basis for our government and rule of law. Unfortunately, in the process they also disenfranchised the native Americans and introduced slavery...two of the most tragic outcomes possible from their arrival.

3. Parenting styles are as unique as the individual. I spent time with several different mamas on my trip and each of them are wonderful and very different. Some are high strung, some are laid back...some are controllers, some are go with the flow types...some are into a lot of structure and some aren't. It's hard when your kids are used to one style of life...and you throw them into another one. And I think it is harder if, like my kids, they are used to a more free and laid back lifestyle and they enter into a more structured one. My kids did alright, I think...and I know it is crucial for them to be exposed to all different kinds of life.

4. There is a security in family that is unmatched. We visited with my cousin Norman and his awesome wife Carolyn. Carolyn and I were pregnant together (I with my first and she with her last) and we have been close ever since. Norman is in the military and they have lived all over the world...but now they are back in the states and we have gotten to see them for extended periods the last 2 summers. It felt like an extended version of home being with them...it was easy to talk and just hang out and be myself. Though she and I are very different - I wasn't worried about the differences becasue I love her and I knew that I would be welcomed and accepted.

5. Single parents are amazing. Now technically I wasn't really single parenting becasue there were always others around to lend a hand. But all of the care for the three kiddos was on me and it was tiring and draining emotionally. I cannot imagine living that life full time and not having anyone around to help out.

6. My kids are awesome. They behaved so well (for the most part) and got along well with all of the other kids they encountered. The girls were really interested in Jamestown and loved the tour my aunt gave them (she works there) - even though it was a million degrees...did I mention the heat? :) I had so much fun being with them and we laughed a lot!

7. I missed my man like MAD! Alex goes away for a few weeks each year but usually for shorter durations. This was the longest I have been away from him in 6 years and I really missed him. Because of time differences and his schedule we really didn't get to talk for any good length of time. We touched base several times a day but never had a conversation that amounted to more than the basics. I am aching for him to be home (he should be here in about an hour!!!) and in my arms again.

8. God is good. I had a lot of anxiety about this trip. I wanted everyone to be safe and happy. I thrive on my routine and I knew that would be interrupted completely on this trip. But God is faithful and unchanging and He walked with me each step of the way.

It's always so good to come home and be able to look back on a time away with a smile and good memories. I'm grateful for what an amazing opportunity this trip was...and I'm glad to be home again.

We're Back!

2007-06-30T07:38:00.000-04:00

I have lots to say but we are getting settled back in so I will be back later!

Off We Go!!!

2007-06-22T14:56:00.000-04:00

I wanted to come and post today because tomorrow the we are leaving for 2 very different adventures.

Alex is taking a large group of junior and senior high students from our church to Bay Saint Louis, Mississippi to work for a week on homes that were destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. They are teaming up with another church from Pittsburgh and will spend next Monday through Friday working hard and sharing God's love with some neighbors who have had a hard time in the last couple of years.

My mom and I are taking the kids to Virginia to visit family. We will spend one night in Washington, DC visiting with some old friends and then we will head to Virginia where we will see my aunt and cousins. I'll also get to see my dear friend, Angela, and her new baby!!! It will be nice to get away and see some family and hopefully relax. I just checked the weather and the temperatures in Virgina next week are expected to be in the upper 90's. YIKES! It hasn't gotten that hot up here yet this summer...good thing we'll have access to a pool!

So, if you are the praying kind, please pray for both journeys. My hope is that all of us will see God in important ways this next week and that we will come back together with much to share about God's goodness. See you soon!

2007-06-19T11:29:00.001-04:00

I just saw this quote posted by (one of my favorite commenters) Sursumcorda on her daughters blog and I had to come right here and post it because it fits so well with my last post on children. It is from Don Aslett's book, How To Handle 1000 Things At Once.

Managing the "little monsters"
Right there is the first mistake we make dealing with kids in our efforts to "fit family into the action." They aren't monsters, and they are the action. Kids are the biggest and best part of the thousands of things we are handling in life, not one more obstacle or appendage to what we are doing. You don't manage kids, they are too smart and move too fast for any of us. You don't train kids, either — you train animals. Our only choice (right and rewarding choice, that is) is to lead and allow children.... You don't make room for kids, they take it. You add them into, not onto your life. Kids don't respond to what is said, only to what they see you do. So lead them in the course you expect of them, be what you want them to be and be it with them. Don't day care them, day share them.... Being bored, mischievous, or underfoot isn't a child's weakness, it's the parents'. Kids tend themselves once they are fueled with direction and example.

This hits the nail on the head. I need to get this book!!!

Rule Maker or Rule Breaker???

2007-06-15T11:17:00.000-04:00

Alex and I are in a small group made up of 6 couples (including us) from our church. We met last night and in the midst of our time together we had an interesting conversation. We were talking about parenting styles and personal preferences...and that led to some people classifying themselves as rule lovers, while others...okay just me and Alex, placed themselves into the rule hater category. (big shock huh?)

I grew up in a house with a lot of rules. There were rules about how to answer the phone, how to make a bed, how to clean a room etc. I remember getting soap in my mouth for calling one of my brother's friends a "jive turkey". It was the 70's for goodness sake...that was slang in all it's perfection. For the most part I followed the rules...even though in my mind I thought they were fairly pointless. I was told to obey authority...all of the time...without question. I didn't care to rock the boat back then...but now it's my boat and I call the shots.

It's not that I don't think rules can be valuable, because I do. I believe kids work well within boundaries but I confess that I think most people's boundaries are way too strict. In the midst of our conversation last night I expressed surprise that some kids respond well to the whole "well, those are the rules" thing from their parents. One of the folks in our group made the observation that my kids are "challenging". At first I was hurt and a little mad but the more I thought about it the more glad I became.

My kids ask questions. My kids tell me when they don't think something is fair. My kids won't blindly follow anyone. My kids don't run and tell on each other or their friends. My kids (for the most part) work out the issues they have with others. My kids seem to be more concerned with people than with the rules. And for ALL of that I'm glad.

I try to teach them to be respectful...but I also tell them it is okay to disagree with people in charge. I try to tell them that when they disagree it is okay to speak up as long as they do it in a kind way whenever possible. My kids disagree with me a lot...and sometimes they are right. I'm not afraid of them disagreeing with me - I welcome it. I want them to see the world in ways that empower them to speak up. Because if they do it now and find their voice then my hope is that later in life they will use that voice to speak up for people who have no voice...even if that means breaking some set of rules society puts forth.

I wouldn't call my kids challenging - I would call them free spirits. I would say they aren't ready to fit into any one's mold of what they should be. In my world kids should be seen and heard and listened to and taken seriously. After all I'm not raising children I am raising adults and the kind of people I hope they grow up to be will question authority with respect, speak out on behalf of the oppressed, and have a ton of fun on the process.

So what are you? A rule maker or a rule breaker? A rule lover or a rule hater? And if you are also a parent how has that influenced your parenting?

Mama's Little Helper

2007-06-15T11:09:00.000-04:00

I finally did it! I officially hired a Mother's Helper for the summer. Last summer between trying to do fun things in the morning and being at the pool in the afternoons I got nothing done at home. Laundry piled up, dinners went un-cooked, and the house got messier than we like it. I knew I couldn't let that happen again...we were all too stressed out. At the same time I didn't want the kids to be stuck inside all morning while I cooked and cleaned etc etc.

So I hired Naomi! She is heading into 9th grade this fall and she is in our youth group at church. She is awesome and we love her a lot. She is fun and playful and full of energy! The kids love her and she loves them. She is here in the mornings and sometimes she will stay and hang out at the pool in the afternoons if she wants to.

I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief because I can focus on house stuff and have fun with the kids. And when we want to go to the zoo or the museum I have an extra set of hands to help out with my three energetic kiddos.

School's OUT!!!

2007-06-14T10:39:00.000-04:00

Annie is finished with first grade!!! She rocked it out and is reading like a pro. She is a whiz in math (and she didn't get that from me!) and she loves history. The only problem area is writing in cursive...and I think that stems more from a lack of interest rather than a lack of skill. She would rather type things on the computer or write in print because "it's faster". I understand that to a certain extent because I see cursive as pretty useless in today's world but I am trying to get across to her the idea that it is important to learn some things even if you feel that they are unnecessary. Hard lesson for a 6 year old...heck, hard lesson for me!

So another year of successful homeschooling under our belts. Next year I will have Annie in second grade and Lucy in Kindergarten. I suspect we will have to be more regimented in our approach and more organized with our days...yikes! I better get planning!!! One year at a time...

Anyway congrats Annie...you're am amazingly smart little girl and I love watching your world open up as you learn new things.

Forgiveness...Reconciliation...Repentance...etc

2007-06-05T09:25:00.000-04:00

*Big sigh*

These topics are heavy on my heart right now for a lot of reasons. I cannot imagine the joy we would always find in relationships if sin didn't exist. I long for that joy in some relationships in my life that are broken. But I don't have hope for some of them. Am I wrong in that?

What is necessary for forgiveness? An apology? Some proof that things have changed? Enough time passed for the hurt to heal? Or is it just a willing heart that is led by God to forgive? I just don't know. Of course I do believe that God can enable us to forgive when we could not do it alone but I have been wondering lately if forgiveness and reconciliation always go hand in hand.

Is there wisdom in reconciling a relationship that has been detrimental to you? Should we re-enter a relationship that has been abusive - emotionally, verbally, physically etc. - if there seems to be an earnest change in the abuser? I have to say that I don't think so.

I don't think that forgiveness automatically leads to reconciliation... and I don't think it necessarily should. Forgiveness is important, whether or not it is asked for. Forgiveness is a letting go of the anger, resentment, and bitterness that destroys us, that keeps us from God. Forgiveness is so freaking hard - and I'm not very good at it. Reconciliation is even harder...because it is hard to know which relationship should be reconciled.

My heart is hurting right now and I would love to hear some of your responses to all of this.

True Confessions

2007-06-01T13:12:00.000-04:00

I've been telling myself for years now that, politically speaking, I am a moderate. I have known for a long time that the word Republican found on my voter ID card no longer fits me. I'm not ashamed of that word or of many of the positions I used to hold...I view my life as a journey and a process and my personal political awakening has been an important part of that. While I do think that both mainstream parties in America have good things to say, I have to admit I'm no longer a moderate. I'm a democrat - tried and true. That isn't to say I agree with everything in the Democratic party's platform - there are several areas where the platform and I diverge...but I can no longer ruin and hide from the fact that I'm much more liberal than conservative in a political sense. If you want the specifics of how that plays out for me on the issues then feel free to ask.

One thing I can say without reservation is that I am one million percent against the war in Iraq. Before I go any further I want to be sure you understand that I support the people who are fighting this war...I support the troops and their families. I also love the USA and am tremendously grateful to live here and have the freedom my citizenship affords me. However, this war is based on lies and deception and has been from the beginning. I feel crushed under the weight of the reports of our soldiers and innocent Iraqis being killed every single day. I am grieved to see and hear the parents, wives and children of our fallen heroes as they wonder why. I wonder why as well. Why are we there? Why are people dying? Why aren't we getting Osama Bin Laden?

This is no longer about 9/11/2001. We aren't supposed to be the world's police force. We have become the bully on the grade school playground. In the next election please don't let yourself be swayed by pictures of 9/11. They will pull on all of our heartstrings...that was a terrible day and the people who orchestrated it should be hunted down and held responsible. But that is not what is happening in Iraq. I hated Saddam Hussein...and I am glad he is no longer in power. But I am not sure his capture and death was worth the devastation we have wrought in that country.

Here is a song by Pink called Dear Mr. President. It is harsh in some places - harsher than I would be...but there are some though provoking and meaningful sentiments in it as well. Please listen and don't allow your ideology to get in the way.

And please pray for peace.

Please take the time

2007-05-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

I don't do this on my blog too often but I am pleading with any of you who haven't seen this video to watch it. It is about Kyle, a 5 year old little boy who was killed when his seat belt failed in a car accident. Kyle was in an approved booster seat, held into the car by a regular seat belt...but, tragically, when the car rolled the seat belt gave out and Kyle was thrown from the car and died.

Kyle's parents just did what so many of us do...they moved their son to a legal, approved booster seat when he outgrew his 5 point harness car seat. But that IS NOT the safest option for kids under 80 pounds. There are a few companies that manufacture 5 point harness car seats for children up to 80 pounds and these are the safest option for your children (and mine).

Popping up for air

2007-05-25T11:10:00.000-04:00

I have been so absent from this blog. We have had an insanely busy schedule the past few weeks and to be honest I am exhausted. But the end is in sight...and the pool opens Sunday...and I'm getting a mani/pedi today!!! So by the middle of next week I should be started on my tan and feeling more relaxed. I'll be back then!!!

Coming out of a DIFFERENT Dark

2007-05-16T10:20:00.000-04:00

Marriage. Marriage in 2007. Marriage in a culture that doesn't do anything to support monogamy, faithfulness, purity or putting family first. How does anyone do it?

In the past few weeks Alex and I have gotten the sad news that several married couples we know are in trouble. Marriages that we have looked up to. Marriages that we thought were strong and solid. Marriages that seemed impenetrable.

I hate the fact that we try and hide our problems...especially in our marriages. We feel that we need to present some perfect image of ourselves when in reality we are wasting away. I know Alex and I have done it in the darker times of our marriage. But I ask you this, what is good about being so secretive (or discrete as people like to say)? My mom used to always tell me "people are only as sick as the secrets they keep". I am beginning to understand that more and more as I get older. It is all about maintaining an image of strength and avoiding the appearance of weakness at all costs. WHY???

The fact is that we are all weak and we are all broken...and we do NOTHING apart from God and His strength. Another fact we may as well get use to is that God gives strength in HIS time...not always when we ask for it. I don't understand why God can't just give us all the strength we need to walk triumphantly through everything life hands us - but I'm beginning to think it is about building community. If we always had the strength to walk through on our own we would never see the value in one another.

As it stands we keep so much to ourselves and we attempt to hide the shattered parts of our lives...and then what do we end up with? A bunch of shattered people who have a very limited capacity to help one another...because asking for help would reveal parts of my brokenness that I can't possibly let you see.

Sometimes I envision God crying out from Heaven and saying "You need each other! Reach out for help...I'm there in the people around you." But we are deaf to His cries because we are so worried about what people will think. All the while God's heart is breaking for us as we isolate ourselves by pretending nothing is wrong.

Well something is wrong...in fact lots of somethings are wrong. We are sad, we are broken, we are sinful, yet we are LOVED. Loved with a deep and abiding love...a love that transcends time and space and circumstance. A love that reaches out to us through people, music, sermons, a smile from a stranger.

We are commanded in Scripture to love one another...and that doesn't mean the warm fuzzy feeling...that means the action of love. Love with hands and feet on it. Love that says "no matter what, I will walk through this with you." Love that won't leave if things have been hard for a long time. Love that endures endless torments. Love that is giving and forgiving...over and over and over again.

I need you. You need me. We need one another. We are the world, we are the children...whoops. But seriously, stop hiding and step into the light of God's grace. Welcome others into your weakness...and maybe you'll find that strength you've been searching for. Peace.

Coming out of the Dark

2007-05-04T14:36:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week we were without electricity for 24 hours. Thankfully it was a beautiful spring day, and nothing in the fridge or freezer spoiled...or else this post may have had a very different tone.

I loved being without power! It forced me to think creatively and solve problems that (any other day) could have easily been solved by flipping a switch or pointing a remote.

Once I realized that the power was out and (according to the power company) probably wasn't coming on anytime soon, I broke the news to the kids. At first they were disappointed (no TV) and scared (no nightlights) but I soon distracted them with an activity. We sat around the kitchen table and painted rocks. I had come across a rock painting kit and I broke it out and we got to work. We painted footballs, cats, flowers and daddy! After that we all pitched in to clean the house and then we played outside. Once Alex came home we went out for dinner and then went to a park to run around before bed. I gave them a bath by candle light (which Jack loved!) and then it was bedtime. This was the hardest time of the day...the girls really hate being in total darkness. But after stories by candle light and lots of singing they fell asleep. They even slept through a quite powerful thunderstorm, that Alex and I enjoyed very much.

Once everyone was asleep, Alex and I sat talking in the darkened living room and somehow stumbled onto the topic of sitcom theme songs. We laughed and laughed listening to one another sing the themes from "WKRP in Cincinnati", "Family Ties", "The Jeffersons", "The Facts of Life", "Happy Days" and many more. We headed up to bed and as we lay there we continued on the TV theme by recalling our favorite shows from different decades. I drifted off somewhere around the 90's with a smile on my face and a contented heart.

When the power is on it is so easy to overlook one another...to turn to TV or the computer or the phone (and when you have VOIP no power = no phone). But when it was off we re-discovered how much fun we all have together. Running in the park, singing favorite songs, telling funny stories, and recalling childhood memories...all things that happened because we were in the dark.

I'd love to tell you that things haven't changed even thought the lights are back on...but I can't. We appreciate having lights to turn on and fans to cool us on warm nights...and it is all too easy to slip back into old routines. But I think I'm going to to institute a once a month "power outage" in our home. Maybe we'll eat by candle light and sleep outside under the stars next time. I'll be sure to keep you posted.

What Would I Say to - ME!

2007-04-24T15:11:00.000-04:00

8 Years ago today Alex and I got married. Almost at this time exactly. It was at 3:30 in the afternoon at Bellefield Presbyterian Church in Pittsburgh. I have been doing a lot of thinking in the past few days about that day 2920 days ago...and I wondered what I would tell myself if I had the chance to talk to me all that time ago. Here are a few things I came up with:

1. Take to heart what Saleem says during the sermon today - "if you are more concerned with meeting the needs of one another than your own needs then, in turn, your needs will be met" - it's very very true.

2. Right now you think you are a selfless person - but don't be shocked when you confront your own selfishness when you have to share all of you with someone else. (and later when you have kids - well then you'll realize just how selfish you are)

3. Be less stubborn - you'll avoid a lot of conflict if you don't dig your heels in on every issue.

4. When times are tough, personally or as a couple, don't retreat from others. You need the people God has put in your life.

5. Always err on the side of love and grace rather than criticism and blame.

6. Marriage is an adventure - complete with glorious mountain tops and deep lonely valleys - but it is in the everyday that we show our true love for each other. Loving one another in the midst of dishes, laundry, late work meetings, and snotty noses is what it is all about.

7. Remember that the best gift you will give your children is a strong and healthy marriage.

8. Even when you don't feel like it or it is hard to make the time - pray for your husband. He needs it and so do you.

I love being married. I love having someone who is there for ME and only me. I don't have to share him with any other love. He is mine and I am his and there is nothing better. I have never felt closer to anyone and I think that is God's good design. Save Jesus, there is no one else above him in my heart.

So again 8 years later as the clock hits 3:30 I'll say (type!):

I Beth take you Alex to be my husband. And I do promise and covenant before God and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful wife...in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

I love you, babe.

Continuing the Conversation

2007-04-18T11:26:00.000-04:00

In my 100 Things post (2 below this one) I stated that I loathe the spanking of children. In response a conversation has begun (in the comments) as to the validity of spanking or not spanking from a biblical perspective. It is a good conversation and I would welcome any and all input.

I am an anti-spanking mama. From my research, I do not believe the Bible advocates spanking in any way. I believe Jesus was a gentle soul, a pacifist, who showed special care and attention to children. I find nothing in the words of Christ that would lead me to embrace a parental strategy that includes spanking. Frankly I do not think I could embrace a theology that advocated spanking - it seems counter-intuitive to me.

Many equate non spanking parents with permissive parents. I know this is not the case for me and for many other Christian non spanking parents. I desire for my children to grow up in the knowledge and love of Christ, and to show love and care for the people around them. I seek to teach my children that there are consequences to their actions (some natural and some imposed), I just choose for those consequences not to involve physical punishment. My children have boundaries and rules - in fact we all try to live by a set of rules in our family. We all mess up and we all fall short - and we, as parents, are trying to model for our children what God has modeled for us...extending grace and mercy and forgiveness. Most often I find God's correction to be gentle rather than harsh. I have wandered off and not responded to God's love and authority in my life...and yet He waited, He loved, and He gently called me back to Him.

I respect the rights of others to make parenting choices for their families. This may sound like a cop out but it is not. I will tell anyone who wants to listen my philosophy on discipline and my reasoning behind it. But I am not going to try to shove my way of doing things down another's throat. I will live my life and parent my children and seek to be the mother God has equipped me to be.

Tragedy at Virgina Tech

2007-04-17T14:23:00.000-04:00

I don't know anyone (as of yet) who is connected in any way to the tragic situation at Virgina tech and yet I am still profoundly saddened by it. I have thought about it from two different perspectives in the past 24 hours...from the student's perspective - the fear and confusion that must have flooded over them as they heard shots ring out and saw their friends and teachers shot and killed...and from the perspective of the parents whose children attend VT - the horror that must have gone through their minds to realize that their babies were in danger and many of them were hundreds of miles away.

My heart aches and feel heavy within my chest - words of sorrow and comfort come to my lips but seem somehow trite and empty. 32 people are dead and 15 others are injured - and the lives of 26,000 students plus faculty, staff, and families will never be the same. In the span of a few hours, one person impacted so many others with evil and hatred.

What is there to say or do in the face of such evil and hatred? Not a lot. Now is a time for healing, a time for loving, a time for consolation. Now is a time to turn to the only one who can bear this kind of burden, because we surely cannot.

Join me in prayer for all those impacted by this horrible tragedy. Pray for healing and comfort. Pray for those who represent the one true God - Jesus Christ - on the campus...that they will be agents of peace and love. Pray for those who are left with questions too big for any human to answer.

Lord, in Your goodness, have mercy.

100 Things...

2007-04-11T18:33:00.000-04:00

My dear friend Liz had this on her blog. She got it from her friend here.

Enjoy.

"I have lived.."

1. in 15 different houses (not including dorms in college) in my 37 years.
2. with the man of my dreams for 7 years, 356 days.
3. in the city and died in the suburbs.
4. for 5 glorious days on Martha's Vineyard...on my honeymoon!
5. with some very big secrets.
6. through my parent's divorce - even though I thought I would die.
7. in the light of God's love.
8. in Maryland, New York, Connecticut and Pennsylvania.
9. in a third story walk up when I was pregnant with my first child!
10. since the 1960's (okay well the very end of 1969 but that was the 60's!).

"I have witnessed..."

1. the beauty of my children's birth.
2. a rainstorm of shooting stars.
3. the tragedy of 9/11.
4. the coming together that tragedy can bring.
5. the powerful moving of God's Holy Spirit.
6. the peaceful death of my Grandmother.
7. my kids doing the "nakey" dance.
8. the power of motherhood.
9. fierce determination of love.
10. everyday miracles.

"I have heard..."

1. my husband say "I do".
2. the beauty of my children's first cry.
3. my inner voice of criticism.
4. my inner voice of love.
5. my babies call me mama.
6. my father tell me he is proud of me.
7. James Taylor in concert close to 10 times.
8. the inaudible call of God in my heart.
9. the Dora the Explorer theme song more times than anyone should.
10. the silence of death.

"I have lost..."

1. my mind on occasion.
2. my keys practically everyday.
3. the same pounds over and over again.
4. my passion for God - more than once.
5. my self confidence.
6. more socks than I can count - what is it with the dryer???
7. my innocence and optimism.
8. my best friend.
9. track of time when blogging!
10. the ability to fake it when I am mad, hurt, angry etc.

"I have found..."

1. God's grace really IS amazing.
2. a child's honesty to be refreshing.
3. that it DOES take a village to raise a child.
4. my passion for God - over and over again.
5. that motherhood is likely the most powerful force in nature.
6. spring after winter is the best gift in the world.
7. that diamonds are really sparkly and nice.
8. that to have a good marriage you must work at it.
9. the world is a seriously messed up place.
10. laughter is often the very best medicine.

"I love..."

1. Jesus - more than I can ever say.
2. my husband - more and more each day.
3. my children - with a love that is stronger than death.
4. my mother - with a grateful heart.
5. being a mother - more than I ever imagined I could.
6. Phish Food ice cream.
7. my engagement and wedding rings.
8. crawling into bed at night.
9. making love.
10. caffeine free diet coke.

"I can..."

1. hang a spoon from my nose and then flip it into my mouth.
2. pop most of my joints out of place and back in again.
3. go from zero to bitch in less than 10 seconds.
4. be the most devoted and loyal friend in the world.
5. teach my kids how to read and write.
6. try and see Jesus in everyone.
7. usually see both sides of a situation.
8. construct a three point argument in my head before the fight has begun.
9. forgive but not forget.
10. love until it hurts and then keep on loving.

"I loathe..."

1. the "isms"...racism, sexism, ageism, and on and on.
2. the ever widening gap between rich and poor.
3. the stigma in being different from the norm.
4. coffee of any flavor - you can dress it up but it still tastes bad.
5. spanking of children.
6. the awful lighting in dressing rooms - can't they work on that?
7. shaving my pits and legs.
8. brussel sprouts - ew.
9. WAR.
10. seeing my children in any kind of pain.

"I hope..."

1. that the war ends soon and that our men and women come home.
2. that we have good choices for the next President.
3. that I can begin to live as a real disciple of Jesus.
4. that my mom lives forever.
5. that my marriage gets better and better and better.
6. that my children grow up to be free thinkers and to love God and themselves.
7. that serving others as a way of life catches on like wildfire.
8. that my friend's post partum depression eases up really soon.
9. that my life will be authentic and inviting.
10. that I still make someone proud.

"I am trying..."

1. to broaden my horizons.
2. to be better at recycling.
3. to raise my children in a gentle and non-punitive environment.
4. to love more freely than I have in the past.
5. to educate my children about the plight of people around the globe.
6. to be a responsible inhabitant of the earth.
7. to be more consistent in prayer.
8. to perfect my pizza crust.
9. to be less judgemental.
10. to knit the perfect hat.

Happy Easter

2007-04-08T07:44:00.000-04:00

Jesus Christ Is Risen Today

Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!
Our triumphant holy day, Alleluia!
Who did once, upon the cross, Alleluia!
Suffer to redeem our loss, Alleluia!

Hymns of praise then let us sing, Alleluia!
Unto Christ, our heavenly King, Alleluia!
Who endured the cross and grave, Alleluia!
Sinners to redeem and save, Alleluia!

But the pains which He endured, Alleluia!
Our salvation hath procured, Alleluia!
Now above the sky He’s king, Alleluia!
Where the angels ever sing, Alleluia!

Sing we to our God above, Alleluia!
Praise eternal as His love, Alleluia!
Praise Him, all you heavenly host, Alleluia!
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Alleluia!

Good Friday

2007-04-06T17:07:00.000-04:00

When I Survey The Wondrous Cross

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Living God's Way - Part 2

2007-04-05T16:05:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a week that started out so well and ended in the crapper? A week where though you had high hopes at the beginning you knew it wasn't going to turn out well at all? I have.

But none of my good to bad weeks can compare with the week Jesus had all those years ago...when he began the week entering Jerusalem triumphantly, people bowing to him and treating him like royalty...and ended the week in the grave, paying the price for our sins. Now that is a week that just sucks.

Today is Maundy Thursday the day when we remember Christ's last meal, his last time hanging out with His friends (and enemy), his last moments to teach the men who would carry His message into the world. I feel for the disciples - they had no clue what was about to happen to their lives. Knowing Jesus truly wrecked their lives forever - and I mean that in good and bad ways.

Has knowing Jesus wrecked your life? I ask myself that question often - sort of as a way to measure my levels of being in or of the world. I know we are called to be in the world and not of the world...but sometimes those lines get very blurry to me. I didn't begin a transformational relationship with Jesus until I was 16 and I spent all the years before that being of the world. I allowed the world to shape my views and thoughts and actions. And that is a mighty huge tide to turn. I know God is big and amazing and all of that but so is the power of self and society. It has been a fierce battle sometimes for my allegiance and attention. I so badly want to give it all to God but then there are these voices and vices and they call to me. (not in an audible, I hear voices sort of way)

There are things that I long for that aren't of God...sometimes more than I long for the things that are of God. I mean I want to be wise and compassionate and patient but sometimes I want more to be right and powerful and adored. It's a struggle like none I've ever known - the struggle to constantly die to myself and live for God.

Tonight I will sit in church after partaking in the Eucharist and I will listen and watch as psalms are read and the altar is stripped in preparation for Good Friday. I will remember the accounts of what Jesus did on this night - how he took his closest friends with him to a garden and asked them to keep watch and pray for Him. How he prayed to God that there be some other way to accomplish the goal other than the brutal torture and death he was about to endure. How He came out to find his friends asleep - and how very alone that must have felt. I will sit there as the church grows darker and darker and realize that for a moment the powers of that darkness thought they might win. I will meditate upon the feelings that must have coursed through the fully divine and fully human Jesus - feelings of fear, anger, loneliness and pain. I will ask God to, once again, break my heart with the power of His love - the very love that sent Jesus to Calvary - the very love that has the power to change the world - the very love that has wrecked my life.

Sleepless Night

2007-04-05T10:07:00.000-04:00

I pride myself on being a good sleeper. I can sleep anywhere and through anything. I don't usually lose sleep over stress or anxiety. So being awake for much of last night is a mystery to me. I just laid there, eyes wide open, NOT sleeping. So I got up and surfed the web for awhile, contemplated blogging, decided not to, muttered complaints under my breath over the drastic weather change - from 80 one day to 30 the next - and eventually went back to bed. I still couldn't sleep and now my feet were freezing too. So I did what any good wife would do and I woke up my husband!!! Isn't marriage about sharing everything - including insomnia??? We talked, he snored, I tried to bore myself to sleep with talk radio...all to no avail. The clock showed 4:45 now and I knew the morning was coming fast. I was already dreading the day today knowing how tired I would be and the dull but constant ache my head would experience.

Then I fell asleep - and my wonderful husband got up with the kids and let me sleep in until 8:15. So three and a half hours of sleep later I was up to face the day, and not feeling all that thrilled by it. My head aches and the kids are getting away with more than normal because I just don't have it in me to be on top of my mom game this morning.

So what do you do when you experience insomnia? Any tried and true methods of falling back to sleep? I'm hoping this won't continue but if it does I want to be armed with some good solutions.

Smooches all around.