What a Difference a Week Makes

It was one week ago that Jack got sick. He is almost all the way better today and seeming more and more like himself. So now I just need to fatten him up a bit (he probably lost 3 or 4 pounds throughout the ordeal) and we should be all set.

I have spent a lot of time thinking this week...at first becasue I was sitting in the hospital and then because we stuck close to home and kept life very low key to aid in recovery...thinking about life and death and how we have so little control over any of it. It is amazing to me how a child (or anyone really) can seem so healthy and strong one hour and the next be so fragile and sick. When Jack first got sick something in my gut (aka. mother's intuition) told me that he was really sick. Because I am a worrier by nature I tried not to say anything...my worry has become somewhat of a legend in my family...but finally at 3 in the morning I just blurted out "I think something is really wrong". I called the Pediatrician and we were sent to the ER. Jack got 900ml of fluids (which is a HECK of a lot for a kid his size) and even with that he never wet his diaper or perked up. I must have asked about that 5 times before we left and was assured he would be fine. WRONG. I knew he was still sick...I knew in my gut we would end up back there, but I knew he was well enough to go home for the night. I knew we had a doctor's appt the next morning...and I trust my pediatrician implicitly.

Because I worry and because that worry has negatively impacted my life throughout the years, I have learned to not listen to myself. What an awful thing. My gut feelings are very rarely wrong...and I have to listen to them more than I do because I believe that is how God chooses to speak to me. I'm going to start listening because God is reliable and can be counted on.


So no, we cannot control much of what happens in this life but if we can learn to listen for God - in the ways He speaks to us - we can find peace and hopefully leave the worry behind.