Bellybuttons

Dear Annie, Lucy, Jack & Wyatt,

Today is Mother's Day...and although it is a day to celebrate mothers everywhere I cannot escape the fact that without the 4 of you I wouldn't be a mama. So today I also celebrate you, my most precious gifts.

There is no role in the world I cherish more than being your mama. It is the fulfillment of so many dreams and longings I have had over the course of my life and I count it all joy to experience life with you day in and day out.

You have each expanded my heart, deepened my understanding of love, and tested my strength more than I ever thought possible. I have had to grow in compassion, mercy and patience since becoming a mama - and sometimes I have not grown fast enough. Being a mama is a study in on the job training and sometimes we have all had to learn from my mistakes, for that I can only say I'm sorry and reassure you that everything I have done has been born out of my unending love for you.

There are days when I don't know if I can take one more little voice calling "MAMA" or one more little body climbing in bed with me or one more stain on the sofa or one more mess to clean up. There are times when I think the drama of "you like him/her better" or "she pushed me" or "he stole my cookie" will be the end of me. That I will just disappear in a cloud of dust while you stand around wondering what the heck happened.

But on those days and during those times I try to remind myself of the earliest moments in each of your lives. Those moments when it was just you and me, in a hospital room, spending our first alone time together. When I whispered my dreams for you in your tiny ears and when I gave voice to the deepest love I have ever known. In those moments I was changed - changed in ways that words cannot begin to describe. Changed in ways that would enable me to move heaven and earth to get to you. Changed in ways that will link my heart to yours forever - through life and death.

When you were all tiny babies I loved to kiss your toes and cheeks and hands and necks. But my favorite part of your gorgeous little bodies was your bellybutton - because that is where you were connected to me. It is a tangible reminder of how you grew in my body AND in my heart and it will be a part of you forever.

So on this day of celebrating Mamas, I celebrate you - my four amazing children. I revel in your unabashed love for me and I appreciate the wonderfully unique people you are becoming right in from of my eyes. Thank you for making me a mama and for making life so much more fun than I ever thought it could be!

I love you,

Mama