40 Favorite Things

In honor of my 40th birthday here is a list of 40 of my favorite things (in no particular order).

1. ice cold diet coke from a can
2. the warm breeze of spring after a cold winter
3. the sleepy snuggles with a toddler after a nap
4. the heart swelling pride when my children accomplish something
5. holding hands
6. feeling the safety of love
7. fried cheese sticks with marinara
8. gin and tonics on Friday nights at the pool
9. hearing little voices having serious conversations
10. friends who are real and forever
11. mad mex
12. Pittsburgh
13. the quiet that comes with a big snowfall
14. days off of school
15. the look on a child's face when they see something amazing for the first time
16. deep long laughter
17. having both sons and daughters
18. football
19. dancing
20. my kids' school
21. my wedding day
22. knitting
23. the feeling of warm sand under my feet
24. playing the kevin bacon game on car trips
25. being involved in things that make the world a better place
26. writing
27. recycling
28. new pajamas on Christmas Eve
29. the smell of sunscreen
30. my wonderful amazing miraculous children
31. soft kisses
32. down comforters
33. fires in the fireplace
34. boardgames
35. living in the city
36. alex
37. falling asleep
38. the sound of the ocean
39. polka dots
40. me, myself and I

40

I turned 40 last week...it's been a strange time. Truth be told I've always thought 40 sounded really old, like REALLY old. And I don't feel old at all - not one tiny bit. I am having a hard time reconciling the way I feel and the me I see in the bathroom mirror every morning with that number...40. It seems impossible.

People who are 40 are supposed to know more than I do about life, aren't they? It seems to me that by the time you have lived on this giant ball we call Earth for 14,600+ days you should know a little more than I do. I find myself changing more now that I did in my 20's. Back then I was so sure about everything - my views were as hard as stone and I was immoveable from my staunchly held positions. Now I'm sure of almost nothing and my views have changed in ways I wouldn't have predicted in a million years. 40 is surprising that way.

People who are 40 are supposed to have some sort of plan for the future right? Some thoughts of what to do when the kids are all in school and grown. Some inclination of what they want to be when they grow up or where they want to retire when the time comes. Well I have a different thought almost each and every day on those topics - and, well I have no clear picture of any of it. 40 is confusing that way.

And people who are 40, well aren't they supposed to have it together? Aren't they supposed to be firmly planted with roots growing deep? If so then why do I have all of these wild thoughts about pulling up my roots and going somewhere to do something radical with my family and our lives? What would that mean and how would it end up? 40 is life-changing that way.

A Blog Redux

It's been almost 9 months since I have blogged. I didn't intend to take a long break but I think it has been a good thing for me. I have had time to ruminate on lots of things I want to say and refine the voice with which I want to say them. So welcome back to my blog, I hope you'll settle in and stay awhile.