Last Will and Testament...daunting words. Words I never thought about until I had children. Alex and I have a will but we need to change it. Lots of things have changed since we had our first will drawn up. We have had two more kids, we own a house, we have some other equity etc. There is so much to think about and consider...and it all leads you to this dark place of contemplating your death and what would happen to those you love as a result of that.
The biggest question of course is if something happens to Alex and I at the same time who would care for our children? Well the obvious answer is my mother. She is closer to them than anyone other than us and they are used to her and comfortable with her. But everyone suggests that you have secondary guardians in place in case the primary person is unable for any reason to take on the responsibility. (kind of like the first runner up in the Miss America pageant)
That's where it gets sticky...that's where you begin to look at family and friends and try and determine who would be the best for your kids. Grandma knows our philosophy and we are confident that she would continue to raise them in accordance with our values and wishes. We know Grandma would be sure that our kids grew up knowing how much we love them and that is important to us.
Of course when held up to the stringent microscope of a parent trying to determine who would raise their children in the event of their untimely demise...barely anyone measures up. How could they? No one could love my babies they way I do. The mere thought of it gives me rushes of anxiety that I can't seem to quiet. Who would I choose? No one! I don't want anyone I know raising my kids other than me. I know some great people who are (or will be) fabulous parents...for their own kids!!! But not for mine. I cannot imagine anyone else being able to navigate the intricacies of my children like I do or understanding their idiosyncrasies. Who else could know that, when putting the girls to bed, Annie likes to be kissed first and Lucy last? And that when Jack is really tired he wants to hold your hand with one of his hands and "B" with the other to fall asleep? There is no way I could ever write everything down for someone else...and I can't imagine anyone else having the passion to do all of the things that make my children's lives comforting and special and unique to them.
AHHHHHH! It is all so overwhelming to think about...it is much easier to avoid the thought altogether. Wouldn't it be nice if we could live like that avoiding all of the stuff that is overwhelming? I think I'd like it every now and again. Unfortunately that isn't going to happen anytime soon so it's back to the drawing board...back to the thoughts of who would replace us if Alex and I (and my mom) were...well you know. I'll let you all know how it turns out.
Where there's a will???
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Posted by Beth at 11:06 AM
Labels: Motherhood
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Don't forget "Do not worry about your life..." I think it's wise to let your preferences be known about who you'd like to raise your kids if you aren't. But ultimately, God is in charge. It's Satan planting the panic in your heart, but you need to tell him to go away! Don't let yourself get caught up in "what if..."s God will provide for your children no matter whether it's through you or not.
We haven't been able to figure out the guardianship of our children, either. It's a difficult question that never seems to get answered. We don't even have our first figured out yet, much less a backup.
Heather makes an excellent point, though.
i just read a quote today that reminds me of this post: "Most people are resistant to thinking about God, and especially death. They behave as if it's the one thing that will never happen, when it's the only thing that's guaranteed. Everyone should think about death. It makes life more precious." – Kirk Douglas
but yeah...consider the lilies, too!
~liz
Thanks friends...all good words. I have a lot of thinking and praying to do. Join me won't you?
Post a Comment