We're Back!

I have lots to say but we are getting settled back in so I will be back later!

Off We Go!!!

I wanted to come and post today because tomorrow the we are leaving for 2 very different adventures.

Alex is taking a large group of junior and senior high students from our church to Bay Saint Louis, Mississippi to work for a week on homes that were destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. They are teaming up with another church from Pittsburgh and will spend next Monday through Friday working hard and sharing God's love with some neighbors who have had a hard time in the last couple of years.

My mom and I are taking the kids to Virginia to visit family. We will spend one night in Washington, DC visiting with some old friends and then we will head to Virginia where we will see my aunt and cousins. I'll also get to see my dear friend, Angela, and her new baby!!! It will be nice to get away and see some family and hopefully relax. I just checked the weather and the temperatures in Virgina next week are expected to be in the upper 90's. YIKES! It hasn't gotten that hot up here yet this summer...good thing we'll have access to a pool!

So, if you are the praying kind, please pray for both journeys. My hope is that all of us will see God in important ways this next week and that we will come back together with much to share about God's goodness. See you soon!

I just saw this quote posted by (one of my favorite commenters) Sursumcorda on her daughters blog and I had to come right here and post it because it fits so well with my last post on children. It is from Don Aslett's book, How To Handle 1000 Things At Once.

Managing the "little monsters"
Right there is the first mistake we make dealing with kids in our efforts to "fit family into the action." They aren't monsters, and they are the action. Kids are the biggest and best part of the thousands of things we are handling in life, not one more obstacle or appendage to what we are doing. You don't manage kids, they are too smart and move too fast for any of us. You don't train kids, either — you train animals. Our only choice (right and rewarding choice, that is) is to lead and allow children.... You don't make room for kids, they take it. You add them into, not onto your life. Kids don't respond to what is said, only to what they see you do. So lead them in the course you expect of them, be what you want them to be and be it with them. Don't day care them, day share them.... Being bored, mischievous, or underfoot isn't a child's weakness, it's the parents'. Kids tend themselves once they are fueled with direction and example.

This hits the nail on the head. I need to get this book!!!

Rule Maker or Rule Breaker???

Alex and I are in a small group made up of 6 couples (including us) from our church. We met last night and in the midst of our time together we had an interesting conversation. We were talking about parenting styles and personal preferences...and that led to some people classifying themselves as rule lovers, while others...okay just me and Alex, placed themselves into the rule hater category. (big shock huh?)

I grew up in a house with a lot of rules. There were rules about how to answer the phone, how to make a bed, how to clean a room etc. I remember getting soap in my mouth for calling one of my brother's friends a "jive turkey". It was the 70's for goodness sake...that was slang in all it's perfection. For the most part I followed the rules...even though in my mind I thought they were fairly pointless. I was told to obey authority...all of the time...without question. I didn't care to rock the boat back then...but now it's my boat and I call the shots.

It's not that I don't think rules can be valuable, because I do. I believe kids work well within boundaries but I confess that I think most people's boundaries are way too strict. In the midst of our conversation last night I expressed surprise that some kids respond well to the whole "well, those are the rules" thing from their parents. One of the folks in our group made the observation that my kids are "challenging". At first I was hurt and a little mad but the more I thought about it the more glad I became.

My kids ask questions. My kids tell me when they don't think something is fair. My kids won't blindly follow anyone. My kids don't run and tell on each other or their friends. My kids (for the most part) work out the issues they have with others. My kids seem to be more concerned with people than with the rules. And for ALL of that I'm glad.

I try to teach them to be respectful...but I also tell them it is okay to disagree with people in charge. I try to tell them that when they disagree it is okay to speak up as long as they do it in a kind way whenever possible. My kids disagree with me a lot...and sometimes they are right. I'm not afraid of them disagreeing with me - I welcome it. I want them to see the world in ways that empower them to speak up. Because if they do it now and find their voice then my hope is that later in life they will use that voice to speak up for people who have no voice...even if that means breaking some set of rules society puts forth.

I wouldn't call my kids challenging - I would call them free spirits. I would say they aren't ready to fit into any one's mold of what they should be. In my world kids should be seen and heard and listened to and taken seriously. After all I'm not raising children I am raising adults and the kind of people I hope they grow up to be will question authority with respect, speak out on behalf of the oppressed, and have a ton of fun on the process.

So what are you? A rule maker or a rule breaker? A rule lover or a rule hater? And if you are also a parent how has that influenced your parenting?

Mama's Little Helper

I finally did it! I officially hired a Mother's Helper for the summer. Last summer between trying to do fun things in the morning and being at the pool in the afternoons I got nothing done at home. Laundry piled up, dinners went un-cooked, and the house got messier than we like it. I knew I couldn't let that happen again...we were all too stressed out. At the same time I didn't want the kids to be stuck inside all morning while I cooked and cleaned etc etc.

So I hired Naomi! She is heading into 9th grade this fall and she is in our youth group at church. She is awesome and we love her a lot. She is fun and playful and full of energy! The kids love her and she loves them. She is here in the mornings and sometimes she will stay and hang out at the pool in the afternoons if she wants to.

I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief because I can focus on house stuff and have fun with the kids. And when we want to go to the zoo or the museum I have an extra set of hands to help out with my three energetic kiddos.

School's OUT!!!

Annie is finished with first grade!!! She rocked it out and is reading like a pro. She is a whiz in math (and she didn't get that from me!) and she loves history. The only problem area is writing in cursive...and I think that stems more from a lack of interest rather than a lack of skill. She would rather type things on the computer or write in print because "it's faster". I understand that to a certain extent because I see cursive as pretty useless in today's world but I am trying to get across to her the idea that it is important to learn some things even if you feel that they are unnecessary. Hard lesson for a 6 year old...heck, hard lesson for me!

So another year of successful homeschooling under our belts. Next year I will have Annie in second grade and Lucy in Kindergarten. I suspect we will have to be more regimented in our approach and more organized with our days...yikes! I better get planning!!! One year at a time...

Anyway congrats Annie...you're am amazingly smart little girl and I love watching your world open up as you learn new things.

Forgiveness...Reconciliation...Repentance...etc

*Big sigh*

These topics are heavy on my heart right now for a lot of reasons. I cannot imagine the joy we would always find in relationships if sin didn't exist. I long for that joy in some relationships in my life that are broken. But I don't have hope for some of them. Am I wrong in that?

What is necessary for forgiveness? An apology? Some proof that things have changed? Enough time passed for the hurt to heal? Or is it just a willing heart that is led by God to forgive? I just don't know. Of course I do believe that God can enable us to forgive when we could not do it alone but I have been wondering lately if forgiveness and reconciliation always go hand in hand.

Is there wisdom in reconciling a relationship that has been detrimental to you? Should we re-enter a relationship that has been abusive - emotionally, verbally, physically etc. - if there seems to be an earnest change in the abuser? I have to say that I don't think so.

I don't think that forgiveness automatically leads to reconciliation... and I don't think it necessarily should. Forgiveness is important, whether or not it is asked for. Forgiveness is a letting go of the anger, resentment, and bitterness that destroys us, that keeps us from God. Forgiveness is so freaking hard - and I'm not very good at it. Reconciliation is even harder...because it is hard to know which relationship should be reconciled.

My heart is hurting right now and I would love to hear some of your responses to all of this.

True Confessions

I've been telling myself for years now that, politically speaking, I am a moderate. I have known for a long time that the word Republican found on my voter ID card no longer fits me. I'm not ashamed of that word or of many of the positions I used to hold...I view my life as a journey and a process and my personal political awakening has been an important part of that. While I do think that both mainstream parties in America have good things to say, I have to admit I'm no longer a moderate. I'm a democrat - tried and true. That isn't to say I agree with everything in the Democratic party's platform - there are several areas where the platform and I diverge...but I can no longer ruin and hide from the fact that I'm much more liberal than conservative in a political sense. If you want the specifics of how that plays out for me on the issues then feel free to ask.

One thing I can say without reservation is that I am one million percent against the war in Iraq. Before I go any further I want to be sure you understand that I support the people who are fighting this war...I support the troops and their families. I also love the USA and am tremendously grateful to live here and have the freedom my citizenship affords me. However, this war is based on lies and deception and has been from the beginning. I feel crushed under the weight of the reports of our soldiers and innocent Iraqis being killed every single day. I am grieved to see and hear the parents, wives and children of our fallen heroes as they wonder why. I wonder why as well. Why are we there? Why are people dying? Why aren't we getting Osama Bin Laden?

This is no longer about 9/11/2001. We aren't supposed to be the world's police force. We have become the bully on the grade school playground. In the next election please don't let yourself be swayed by pictures of 9/11. They will pull on all of our heartstrings...that was a terrible day and the people who orchestrated it should be hunted down and held responsible. But that is not what is happening in Iraq. I hated Saddam Hussein...and I am glad he is no longer in power. But I am not sure his capture and death was worth the devastation we have wrought in that country.

Here is a song by Pink called Dear Mr. President. It is harsh in some places - harsher than I would be...but there are some though provoking and meaningful sentiments in it as well. Please listen and don't allow your ideology to get in the way.

And please pray for peace.