Please take the time

I don't do this on my blog too often but I am pleading with any of you who haven't seen this video to watch it. It is about Kyle, a 5 year old little boy who was killed when his seat belt failed in a car accident. Kyle was in an approved booster seat, held into the car by a regular seat belt...but, tragically, when the car rolled the seat belt gave out and Kyle was thrown from the car and died.

Kyle's parents just did what so many of us do...they moved their son to a legal, approved booster seat when he outgrew his 5 point harness car seat. But that IS NOT the safest option for kids under 80 pounds. There are a few companies that manufacture 5 point harness car seats for children up to 80 pounds and these are the safest option for your children (and mine).

Popping up for air

I have been so absent from this blog. We have had an insanely busy schedule the past few weeks and to be honest I am exhausted. But the end is in sight...and the pool opens Sunday...and I'm getting a mani/pedi today!!! So by the middle of next week I should be started on my tan and feeling more relaxed. I'll be back then!!!

Coming out of a DIFFERENT Dark

Marriage. Marriage in 2007. Marriage in a culture that doesn't do anything to support monogamy, faithfulness, purity or putting family first. How does anyone do it?

In the past few weeks Alex and I have gotten the sad news that several married couples we know are in trouble. Marriages that we have looked up to. Marriages that we thought were strong and solid. Marriages that seemed impenetrable.

I hate the fact that we try and hide our problems...especially in our marriages. We feel that we need to present some perfect image of ourselves when in reality we are wasting away. I know Alex and I have done it in the darker times of our marriage. But I ask you this, what is good about being so secretive (or discrete as people like to say)? My mom used to always tell me "people are only as sick as the secrets they keep". I am beginning to understand that more and more as I get older. It is all about maintaining an image of strength and avoiding the appearance of weakness at all costs. WHY???

The fact is that we are all weak and we are all broken...and we do NOTHING apart from God and His strength. Another fact we may as well get use to is that God gives strength in HIS time...not always when we ask for it. I don't understand why God can't just give us all the strength we need to walk triumphantly through everything life hands us - but I'm beginning to think it is about building community. If we always had the strength to walk through on our own we would never see the value in one another.

As it stands we keep so much to ourselves and we attempt to hide the shattered parts of our lives...and then what do we end up with? A bunch of shattered people who have a very limited capacity to help one another...because asking for help would reveal parts of my brokenness that I can't possibly let you see.

Sometimes I envision God crying out from Heaven and saying "You need each other! Reach out for help...I'm there in the people around you." But we are deaf to His cries because we are so worried about what people will think. All the while God's heart is breaking for us as we isolate ourselves by pretending nothing is wrong.

Well something is wrong...in fact lots of somethings are wrong. We are sad, we are broken, we are sinful, yet we are LOVED. Loved with a deep and abiding love...a love that transcends time and space and circumstance. A love that reaches out to us through people, music, sermons, a smile from a stranger.

We are commanded in Scripture to love one another...and that doesn't mean the warm fuzzy feeling...that means the action of love. Love with hands and feet on it. Love that says "no matter what, I will walk through this with you." Love that won't leave if things have been hard for a long time. Love that endures endless torments. Love that is giving and forgiving...over and over and over again.

I need you. You need me. We need one another. We are the world, we are the children...whoops. But seriously, stop hiding and step into the light of God's grace. Welcome others into your weakness...and maybe you'll find that strength you've been searching for. Peace.

Coming out of the Dark

Earlier this week we were without electricity for 24 hours. Thankfully it was a beautiful spring day, and nothing in the fridge or freezer spoiled...or else this post may have had a very different tone.

I loved being without power! It forced me to think creatively and solve problems that (any other day) could have easily been solved by flipping a switch or pointing a remote.

Once I realized that the power was out and (according to the power company) probably wasn't coming on anytime soon, I broke the news to the kids. At first they were disappointed (no TV) and scared (no nightlights) but I soon distracted them with an activity. We sat around the kitchen table and painted rocks. I had come across a rock painting kit and I broke it out and we got to work. We painted footballs, cats, flowers and daddy! After that we all pitched in to clean the house and then we played outside. Once Alex came home we went out for dinner and then went to a park to run around before bed. I gave them a bath by candle light (which Jack loved!) and then it was bedtime. This was the hardest time of the day...the girls really hate being in total darkness. But after stories by candle light and lots of singing they fell asleep. They even slept through a quite powerful thunderstorm, that Alex and I enjoyed very much.

Once everyone was asleep, Alex and I sat talking in the darkened living room and somehow stumbled onto the topic of sitcom theme songs. We laughed and laughed listening to one another sing the themes from "WKRP in Cincinnati", "Family Ties", "The Jeffersons", "The Facts of Life", "Happy Days" and many more. We headed up to bed and as we lay there we continued on the TV theme by recalling our favorite shows from different decades. I drifted off somewhere around the 90's with a smile on my face and a contented heart.

When the power is on it is so easy to overlook one another...to turn to TV or the computer or the phone (and when you have VOIP no power = no phone). But when it was off we re-discovered how much fun we all have together. Running in the park, singing favorite songs, telling funny stories, and recalling childhood memories...all things that happened because we were in the dark.

I'd love to tell you that things haven't changed even thought the lights are back on...but I can't. We appreciate having lights to turn on and fans to cool us on warm nights...and it is all too easy to slip back into old routines. But I think I'm going to to institute a once a month "power outage" in our home. Maybe we'll eat by candle light and sleep outside under the stars next time. I'll be sure to keep you posted.

What Would I Say to - ME!

8 Years ago today Alex and I got married. Almost at this time exactly. It was at 3:30 in the afternoon at Bellefield Presbyterian Church in Pittsburgh. I have been doing a lot of thinking in the past few days about that day 2920 days ago...and I wondered what I would tell myself if I had the chance to talk to me all that time ago. Here are a few things I came up with:

1. Take to heart what Saleem says during the sermon today - "if you are more concerned with meeting the needs of one another than your own needs then, in turn, your needs will be met" - it's very very true.

2. Right now you think you are a selfless person - but don't be shocked when you confront your own selfishness when you have to share all of you with someone else. (and later when you have kids - well then you'll realize just how selfish you are)

3. Be less stubborn - you'll avoid a lot of conflict if you don't dig your heels in on every issue.

4. When times are tough, personally or as a couple, don't retreat from others. You need the people God has put in your life.

5. Always err on the side of love and grace rather than criticism and blame.

6. Marriage is an adventure - complete with glorious mountain tops and deep lonely valleys - but it is in the everyday that we show our true love for each other. Loving one another in the midst of dishes, laundry, late work meetings, and snotty noses is what it is all about.

7. Remember that the best gift you will give your children is a strong and healthy marriage.

8. Even when you don't feel like it or it is hard to make the time - pray for your husband. He needs it and so do you.


I love being married. I love having someone who is there for ME and only me. I don't have to share him with any other love. He is mine and I am his and there is nothing better. I have never felt closer to anyone and I think that is God's good design. Save Jesus, there is no one else above him in my heart.

So again 8 years later as the clock hits 3:30 I'll say (type!):

I Beth take you Alex to be my husband. And I do promise and covenant before God and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful wife...in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

I love you, babe.

Continuing the Conversation

In my 100 Things post (2 below this one) I stated that I loathe the spanking of children. In response a conversation has begun (in the comments) as to the validity of spanking or not spanking from a biblical perspective. It is a good conversation and I would welcome any and all input.

I am an anti-spanking mama. From my research, I do not believe the Bible advocates spanking in any way. I believe Jesus was a gentle soul, a pacifist, who showed special care and attention to children. I find nothing in the words of Christ that would lead me to embrace a parental strategy that includes spanking. Frankly I do not think I could embrace a theology that advocated spanking - it seems counter-intuitive to me.

Many equate non spanking parents with permissive parents. I know this is not the case for me and for many other Christian non spanking parents. I desire for my children to grow up in the knowledge and love of Christ, and to show love and care for the people around them. I seek to teach my children that there are consequences to their actions (some natural and some imposed), I just choose for those consequences not to involve physical punishment. My children have boundaries and rules - in fact we all try to live by a set of rules in our family. We all mess up and we all fall short - and we, as parents, are trying to model for our children what God has modeled for us...extending grace and mercy and forgiveness. Most often I find God's correction to be gentle rather than harsh. I have wandered off and not responded to God's love and authority in my life...and yet He waited, He loved, and He gently called me back to Him.

I respect the rights of others to make parenting choices for their families. This may sound like a cop out but it is not. I will tell anyone who wants to listen my philosophy on discipline and my reasoning behind it. But I am not going to try to shove my way of doing things down another's throat. I will live my life and parent my children and seek to be the mother God has equipped me to be.

Tragedy at Virgina Tech

I don't know anyone (as of yet) who is connected in any way to the tragic situation at Virgina tech and yet I am still profoundly saddened by it. I have thought about it from two different perspectives in the past 24 hours...from the student's perspective - the fear and confusion that must have flooded over them as they heard shots ring out and saw their friends and teachers shot and killed...and from the perspective of the parents whose children attend VT - the horror that must have gone through their minds to realize that their babies were in danger and many of them were hundreds of miles away.

My heart aches and feel heavy within my chest - words of sorrow and comfort come to my lips but seem somehow trite and empty. 32 people are dead and 15 others are injured - and the lives of 26,000 students plus faculty, staff, and families will never be the same. In the span of a few hours, one person impacted so many others with evil and hatred.

What is there to say or do in the face of such evil and hatred? Not a lot. Now is a time for healing, a time for loving, a time for consolation. Now is a time to turn to the only one who can bear this kind of burden, because we surely cannot.

Join me in prayer for all those impacted by this horrible tragedy. Pray for healing and comfort. Pray for those who represent the one true God - Jesus Christ - on the campus...that they will be agents of peace and love. Pray for those who are left with questions too big for any human to answer.

Lord, in Your goodness, have mercy.

100 Things...

My dear friend Liz had this on her blog. She got it from her friend here.

Enjoy.



"I have lived.."

1. in 15 different houses (not including dorms in college) in my 37 years.
2. with the man of my dreams for 7 years, 356 days.
3. in the city and died in the suburbs.
4. for 5 glorious days on Martha's Vineyard...on my honeymoon!
5. with some very big secrets.
6. through my parent's divorce - even though I thought I would die.
7. in the light of God's love.
8. in Maryland, New York, Connecticut and Pennsylvania.
9. in a third story walk up when I was pregnant with my first child!
10. since the 1960's (okay well the very end of 1969 but that was the 60's!).

"I have witnessed..."

1. the beauty of my children's birth.
2. a rainstorm of shooting stars.
3. the tragedy of 9/11.
4. the coming together that tragedy can bring.
5. the powerful moving of God's Holy Spirit.
6. the peaceful death of my Grandmother.
7. my kids doing the "nakey" dance.
8. the power of motherhood.
9. fierce determination of love.
10. everyday miracles.

"I have heard..."

1. my husband say "I do".
2. the beauty of my children's first cry.
3. my inner voice of criticism.
4. my inner voice of love.
5. my babies call me mama.
6. my father tell me he is proud of me.
7. James Taylor in concert close to 10 times.
8. the inaudible call of God in my heart.
9. the Dora the Explorer theme song more times than anyone should.
10. the silence of death.

"I have lost..."

1. my mind on occasion.
2. my keys practically everyday.
3. the same pounds over and over again.
4. my passion for God - more than once.
5. my self confidence.
6. more socks than I can count - what is it with the dryer???
7. my innocence and optimism.
8. my best friend.
9. track of time when blogging!
10. the ability to fake it when I am mad, hurt, angry etc.

"I have found..."

1. God's grace really IS amazing.
2. a child's honesty to be refreshing.
3. that it DOES take a village to raise a child.
4. my passion for God - over and over again.
5. that motherhood is likely the most powerful force in nature.
6. spring after winter is the best gift in the world.
7. that diamonds are really sparkly and nice.
8. that to have a good marriage you must work at it.
9. the world is a seriously messed up place.
10. laughter is often the very best medicine.

"I love..."

1. Jesus - more than I can ever say.
2. my husband - more and more each day.
3. my children - with a love that is stronger than death.
4. my mother - with a grateful heart.
5. being a mother - more than I ever imagined I could.
6. Phish Food ice cream.
7. my engagement and wedding rings.
8. crawling into bed at night.
9. making love.
10. caffeine free diet coke.

"I can..."

1. hang a spoon from my nose and then flip it into my mouth.
2. pop most of my joints out of place and back in again.
3. go from zero to bitch in less than 10 seconds.
4. be the most devoted and loyal friend in the world.
5. teach my kids how to read and write.
6. try and see Jesus in everyone.
7. usually see both sides of a situation.
8. construct a three point argument in my head before the fight has begun.
9. forgive but not forget.
10. love until it hurts and then keep on loving.

"I loathe..."

1. the "isms"...racism, sexism, ageism, and on and on.
2. the ever widening gap between rich and poor.
3. the stigma in being different from the norm.
4. coffee of any flavor - you can dress it up but it still tastes bad.
5. spanking of children.
6. the awful lighting in dressing rooms - can't they work on that?
7. shaving my pits and legs.
8. brussel sprouts - ew.
9. WAR.
10. seeing my children in any kind of pain.


"I hope..."

1. that the war ends soon and that our men and women come home.
2. that we have good choices for the next President.
3. that I can begin to live as a real disciple of Jesus.
4. that my mom lives forever.
5. that my marriage gets better and better and better.
6. that my children grow up to be free thinkers and to love God and themselves.
7. that serving others as a way of life catches on like wildfire.
8. that my friend's post partum depression eases up really soon.
9. that my life will be authentic and inviting.
10. that I still make someone proud.


"I am trying..."

1. to broaden my horizons.
2. to be better at recycling.
3. to raise my children in a gentle and non-punitive environment.
4. to love more freely than I have in the past.
5. to educate my children about the plight of people around the globe.
6. to be a responsible inhabitant of the earth.
7. to be more consistent in prayer.
8. to perfect my pizza crust.
9. to be less judgemental.
10. to knit the perfect hat.

Happy Easter

Jesus Christ Is Risen Today

Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!
Our triumphant holy day, Alleluia!
Who did once, upon the cross, Alleluia!
Suffer to redeem our loss, Alleluia!

Hymns of praise then let us sing, Alleluia!
Unto Christ, our heavenly King, Alleluia!
Who endured the cross and grave, Alleluia!
Sinners to redeem and save, Alleluia!

But the pains which He endured, Alleluia!
Our salvation hath procured, Alleluia!
Now above the sky He’s king, Alleluia!
Where the angels ever sing, Alleluia!

Sing we to our God above, Alleluia!
Praise eternal as His love, Alleluia!
Praise Him, all you heavenly host, Alleluia!
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Alleluia!

Good Friday

When I Survey The Wondrous Cross

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.